More OWCA Files
by veryloyalfan
Summary: Will Perry's headache ever go away, or is it just a side effect of having Doof around? More of Perry's team's adventures as Doof tries to learn not to mess up all the time, until Disney desides to create more episodes. (Please!) My OC is tagging along, too, to try to keep some sanity in place. Disney ownes P&F, and everything affiliated, not me.
1. Rubble

Major Monogram smiled as he watched his best agent hand out the black hat bands. He'd known the little platypus had what it took to bring out the best in O.W.C.A.'s newest agents, but they'd done even better than he'd expected. So well, in fact, it might be worth it to keep the team going a bit longer, just to see what happened.

Speaking of things happening, he sighed, and rubbed his temples, admitting to himself that the new agents had pulled through _because_ of Agent P, and they still needed him. Especially Doof. But, considering the call he had to make, he wasn't sure the loyal little guy wouldn't refuse.

He pressed a button, and waited for the agent on the other end to answer. The screen lit up as one of his three human agents appeared. "Sir?"

"A.J. How's your mission going?"

"The situation's under control, and I'll be back in the country in a few minutes, sir. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, now. Well, almost. We've made arrangements to extend the Flynn-Fletcher's trip. I expect they'll be calling you soon, to…"

"They already did, and I told them I'd be glad to watch Perry a few extra days, but what's going on?"

"That will be plain enough. Suffice it to say, if Agent P doesn't have a key to your house, well, just try to make it home before nighttime. Monogram out."

Annie mulled over the Major's strange behavior all the way home. _What_ exactly, would be plain enough? And why was it suddenly an issue that Perry was home alone? She'd been gone for almost as long as the Flynn-Fletcher family, but she doubted Perry had had time to notice what with the training and… she gasped, slamming on the breaks when she saw what was left of their house.

She stared for a few seconds, then pulled into the driveway next to what had once been a yellow house. As she got out of the car, she pressed a button. "Sir…"

He sounded tired. "I know. Doofenshmirtz accidentally launched some missiles yesterday, and now we need some time to fix the damage."

She barely noticed when he hung up on her. She walked to the gaping hole in the house, and peered inside. A small pile of salvaged items had been gathered. She carefully made her way through the rubble, and down to Perry's lair, where he was fishing his locket from the toilet.

He dropped it in some cleaning solution, and washed his hands, bill quivering.

She spoke softly. "Hey."

He spun around, and stared up at her, then gave a weary sigh.

She got down to her knees, and held her arms out.

He raced forward, and leapt into them.

She didn't say a word, just rocked him gently while he buried his face in her shoulder. He pulled back, and gave a grateful chatter, wiping a single tear from his eye with a brave smile.

"Yeah, it could have been worse. Thank goodness no one was home."

He nodded, looking around with a dejected sigh.

"Here. Let me help you. We'll save what we can."

—

It took hours to dig through the rubble, and most of the things they uncovered couldn't be saved. So much had been destroyed, the few boxes of things they'd rescued hardly seemed to matter.

She put her hand over Perry's shoulder. "The work crew's here now. We've got to go."

He shut his eyes, and nodded, knowing the workers were there to fix everything. His owners wouldn't ever know the difference, and, really, a lot of things wouldn't even seem different. But he'd know.

Her heart broke for him. As they left, she made sure the workers kept the boxes to one side. "These things have to be kept, okay? Don't replace them, just put them back when you're finished."

"You got it. If we find anything else salvageable, we'll let you know."

She nodded, scooped him up, and brought him across the yard to her house.

A few things had been knocked to the ground in the explosion, but it was hardly worth noticing after what had happened to his home.

She tidied up while Perry went upstairs to take a shower. She hurried through her own shower, knowing that his mind was racing. Hers was, too. What if his family came home early? What if what had happened somehow slipped out?

She went into her bedroom, and found him curled up at the foot of her bed. She crawled under the covers, then reached out and pulled him close. "You just get some rest, okay?"

He gave tired chatter, grateful for the comforting arms wrapped around him.

"You want me to punch your trainee in the nose for you?"

He shook his head. She supposed he was right. As much heartache as he'd caused, Doof hadn't done it _intentionally._

—

Perry was still snuggled in her arms when she woke up the next morning. He smiled, and looked up at her, and his face fell. Poor little fella. Right now, she was nothing more than a reminder that he wasn't at home, and why.

He reached to rub his temples, but she beat him to it.

He sighed, and snuggled deeper into the covers. She knew that he needed some extra pampering right now, and she needed to give it to him. He let her cuddle him, and try to rub the tension from his temples.

His watch beeped, and he gave a weary sigh before clapping his hand over it to stop the beeping, and burrowing further under the covers.

She laughed, and sat up. "Hey, you've more than earned the time off. I, on the other hand, have to file my report. So let me know if you want a lift."

He peered up at her with one eye, then sighed again as he got up, and put his hat on, then held his arms out like a two year old.

She was more than happy to pick him up and carry him downstairs to get him breakfast. The second she turned around, he darted to the window to see how the reconstruction was going. From the way his shoulders slumped, he regretted it. She peered out the window and winced; the house was more of a mess than it was yesterday.

He trudged back to the kitchen, and rested his chin on the table until she pushed a plate of pancakes at him.

He shot her a look that said he knew what she was trying to do, and that didn't make the effort any less meaningful. She sat down with her own plate, and pulled up the day's agenda on her tablet. After a few minutes, she sputtered on her water.

He kept chewing, staring straight ahead while she picked up the tablet and scanned it more thoroughly.

"Doof did more damage than he did last time!" She clapped her hand over her mouth as she realized what she'd just said. "Sorry…"

He shrugged, giving her a sad smile. The damage to the house next door was obviously already on his mind anyway.

—

 **A/N: I apologize for nothing. They blew up the Flynn-Fletchers house while Perry was standing on the front lawn, and then Doof went through the rubble, destroying what few things that had escaped the blast. Perry needed comfort.**

 **As you can see, I'm trying to step out of Perry's head a little, just for the challenge. (Don't ask why I'm starting now. I have no idea.)**

 **I don't own Phineas and Ferb, and, incidentally, if anyone affiliated with Disney ever happens upon this, please make the O.W.C.A. Files into an actual spin off show, just… without the bugs. You've tortured them enough.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Friend Request

She followed Perry into the newly renovated O.W.C.A. building, shaking her head at the scorch marks on the roof. If no one had taken away Doof's stupid rocket launcher yet, she was going to…

"Ah, Agent P. Oh, um, welcome back, AJ."

She stepped forward, and handed the report to Carl, then saluted. "Thank you sir." She glanced down at Perry, and noticed that he was eying the Major suspiciously. He felt like something was up, too.

The major always looked more comfortable behind a screen, but with the new building ,he was having to get used to a new set of rules. He cleared his throat. "Agent P, I've got something to ask you. I know that you're probably expecting your new assignment, and you've more than earned it.

She bit back an impatient sigh, wondering if the major was even aware of mow many times he took advantage of the platypus.

"But let's face it, those recruits still have a long way to go. I want you to stay with your team. Season them a bit. Just for a while.

The platypus sighed, shoulders slumping.

The major swallowed. "I know. But I can't think of a better agent for the job."

She rolled her eyes. "That's because there isn't one."

The major nodded in agreement. "What do you say?"

Perry crossed his arms, and held up one finger to indicate that he had a condition.

"Yes?"

He turned, and pointed to her.

The major looked relieved. "Oh! Of course I can add AJ to the team. Not a bad idea. Well? How 'bout it, AJ?"

Her attention was on the little agent as he suddenly let his composure drop, clasping his hands together, like she could say no to _those_ eyes.

She smiled at him, addressing the major. "Of course, sir."

Perry gave a relieved sigh, and became the normal, stoic agent version of himself.

The major nodded to the rest of Perry's trainees as they came up.

Doof's smile faded as she shot him a look filled with as much venom as she could muster. He tapped his fingers together. "Um, good morning, Perry the Platypus… welcome back, MC."

She'd gotten used to him having the _nerve_ to call her Miss Chatty, heck, he probably didn't even remember that was what it stood for, but today, it ticked her off more than it originally had. Perry took a step back, and she noticed that he'd planted himself firmly between them.

—

What was MC so grouchy about? He ignored her as Monobrow started talking. "Oh good, you're all here. Agents, I've decided that I'm going to leave your team the way it is for a while. I know we usually send agents out solo, but I see a great future for this team, so we're going to keep it intact. Agent P is still in charge, and I'm adding in Agent Jamison here as his second in command."

Doof opened his mouth, but one glance at Perry stopped him cold. His former nemesis apparently had some ways to go before he could forgive him completely.

The Major saluted them, and he and Carl left. MC stooped down to introduce herself to the other animal agents on the team, and that left him standing there beside the platypus, trying hard to forget the look he'd had on his face as he looked around the remains of his host families home. He swallowed, hard, knowing full well that Perry the platypus didn't loose his composure for much.

He also know that he didn't normally get that mad at him, even back when they were nemeses. "Perry the platypus?"

The agent looked up at him, cold stare in place, but at least the anger wasn't so prominent. "Are you mad at me?"

The little guy smacked himself in the face, muttered an angry chatter under his breath, before crossing his arms, and finding his composure again.

"I see. You a _re_ mad, but you're trying to get over it, and I'm not helping."

He glanced over at the rest of the team. Maggie was perched on AJ's shoulder, and Karen was rubbing up against her ankle while she tickled Harry. The hyena was laughing uncontrollably and rocking back and forth, and despite the attention she was lavishing on them, the girl was still managing to keep an eye on him.

He swallowed. It wasn't like he'd _tried_ to hurt Perry the platypus. He'd only been trying to help. The whole team was mad at him, and now, after they way they accepted AJ, he couldn't tell himself that it was just because he was human.

A little teal paw reached up and patted his hand, and he looked down to see Perry trying to give him a smile. He smiled back. "Thank you, Perry the platypus."

AJ stood up, and tried to get the others to stand at attention. "So, what first, Boss?"

That cheered the little guy up. Perry pulled out the manual, and started flipping through pages while he scratched his head, and tried to figure out where the platypus had been keeping the book.

He spun the book around, and pointed out a page to AJ.

She read it out loud. "Freeway Assault, huh?"

He raised his hand, jumping up and down. "I'm driving!"

"No!" AJ snapped out the word, but her face had gone pale.

Perry the platypus took a menacing step towards him, and for a second, he thought he was going to punch him in the face. But on the bright side, the anger was reading now had nothing to do with his rocket launcher or skills as a team member, and everything to do with dragging the little guy on his Drusselstine driving test, so, that was a step up.

The leader of their team pointed to himself, then AJ, then Maggie, then Harry, then the _cat_ , then took it a step further, and shook his head as he pointed to him.

He crossed his arms. "Oh, you're just asking for some irony here. You watch! We're going to get in trouble, and I'm going to be he only one that can drive, or something, and you'll have no one to blame but yourselves."

They stared at him. "What?"

Perry the platypus rubbed at his temples before clapping the book shut, and motioning for them to move out.

 **A/N: Not going to Perry's head is more like an episode but… eh, we'll see how much longer I can stand not going into italics with some endearing thought. And yes, yes I** _ **did**_ **have to bring AJ in on the team, before they ended up killing Perry. Someone needs to have the little guy's back! (And I need to keep my OC in there. Please don't sue me, I'm broke because I only get fan-fiction 'published'.)**


	3. Rocky Road

Annie carefully wound the ace bandage around Harry's arm, watching Perry pace back and forth with his hand pressed to his forehead. Harry tested his arm, then hopped down with a grateful chuckle and a salute.

Perry came over, handing her the book, and showing her his next plan of attack. She nodded, seeing the same problem that had gotten Harry injured; his name was Doof.

Perry sighed.

She shot a look at the former evil scientist. "I know you still believe in him, and I think he knows that, too. I just think that he's afraid that the next time he messes up will finally be the last straw, and you'll give up on him like the rest of the world." She glanced down to find Perry looking at her like she'd just stated something painfully obvious, but she'd honestly never considered it until the words had come out of her mouth.

Perry kept staring at her, intently, and she sighed. "Fine. I'll go talk to him."

He smiled, and went back to mapping out a plan.

Doof gave a little moan when he saw her coming. "I knew it. Fine, look, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. You don't have to throw me out. I know when I'm not wanted."

"You can't quit."

"I just did! So there! You can't fire me!"

"I'm not firing you."

"Not anymore, because I quit!"

Every ounce of anger in her body flushed to her face, and she took a step forward. Doof backed into the wall, looking more then a little intimidated. "Listen, _Pal_ , that little platypus has had your back for years. He could have gotten reassigned, or just tossed you in a jail cell to rot somewhere, but he _didn't_. He put up with all your crap, every _single_ day, because he knew that if you'd just stop _whining_ about being a failure, you could make something of yourself. So _shut up_ , and stop trying to prove yourself to him."

She crossed her arms, and he lowered his hands from his face. "Did you just tell me to shut up? That's like, strong language, coming from you."

She turned, and pointed to Perry. "He's got to worry about e _veryone_ on the team, not just you."

Doof swallowed. "And now that he's got _you_ on the team, what does he need _me_ for? I'm nothing but a goof up. I _know_ he expects me to make up for everything, but how can I?"

She sighed. "You can't."

He stared at he like she'd smacked him in the face, which she would if it would get her point across. "But that's not what Perry expects. All he wants from you is for you to be part of the team. So take a little of that weight from his shoulders, and focus a little, okay?"

He gave her a suspicious look, and she realized that her voice had softened. She smiled. "Look, I'll admit, it took me a long time to see it, but Perry's right. You're a _good_ guy. You just, get your wires crossed every now and then."

He sighed. "I can't stop messing up."

She shrugged. "Neither can I. Nobody's perfect. Look at Perry; he's the top agent, and he's terrible at avoiding… traps!"

He blinked at her like she'd lost it. "Well, yeah, but it's not like he lets them slow him down…"

"No,no,no! Doof, your traps! You used to trap Perry every day. You're terrific at it! You always know where he's going to break in, when he'd going to have someone with him, and where he's going to stand…"

"Yeah, but that's all behind me. It's an evil scientist skill."

She ignored him as she raced back over to Perry. She looked over his shoulder, and tapped a single car on the page.

He spun around, and shot her a grin. Then whistled, motioning the rest of the team over.

Doof slouched as he wandered over, still looking like he might quit. Perry pointed to Harry and Maggie, indicating that they had pretty much the same layout as last time. He pointed to her, mapping out a different rout for her to drive. Then he pointed to Doof, tapped on the car, then tapped on an intersecting point from her new route.

Doof crouched down to get a better look. "You want me to set up a trap?"

Perry nodded, turning to give Karen her instructions. Doof stood back up, biting his lip. "But, that plan means that everyone will be depending on _me_!"

She put her hand on his shoulder. "The whole point of a team is that everyone depends on everyone else. Otherwise, we'd just all be going it alone. Just focus on your part, and trust us to get them there."

He sighed. "I'll try, but… what if I mess up again? I know we can just start over, but these could be for real someday!"

"That's kind of the point, Doof. We've got to treat this like a real mission, but it lets us mess up. It's a safe environment to learn how to work together."

He nodded. "Okay. But I can't make any promises."

Perry turned at that, and thumped his fist to his chest twice, then pointed to Doof. The former evil scientist seemed to find some hidden meaning in the gesture, because his smile was reminiscent. He saluted. "I'll do my best."

Perry shot her a grateful smile, and they raced to their positions, motioning for Carl to start the test up again.

Okay, so this stupid conveyor-belt system, thing, made things difficult, but at long as he strapped himself down, and made the trap ineffective until the fourth rotation, everything would be fine. He'd just do like AJ said, and focus on his part of the plan.

A horn sounded as the getaway car tore down the 'road', with AJ, Harry, and Karen in hot pursuit, Maggie in the air, and Perry the platypus on his scooter. The conveyor-belt started pulling him towards them even faster than they were already coming,and he started making the trap. The car zig-zagged to the opposite end to avoid him, and then he was pulled over the edge of the system. First rotation down, and he was already ahead of the game. Just three more, and he'd save the day.

He smiled, and started working faster as the conveyor-belt went around again. He wasn't going to mess up this time, no sir! If they didn't pass, it would be that annoying hyena's fault, not his.

They sped by a little closer this time, but nothing serious. He was sure they'd correct it the next time. Perry the platypus gave him a thumbs up, and he returned it before being pulled upside down again. This whole plan was strictly weird, but, hey, it might get them bonus points.

He checked his work over. The trap was coming along nicely. One more time around and… wait… they were coming straight for him! The car and the scooter were corralling the getaway vehicle into the trap one rotation too soon! He got a sickening feeling in the pit of his gut that had nothing to do with being strapped to this huge treadmill.

They must have had to improvise. Perry the platypus had been asking him if the trap was ready, and he'd signaled an affirmative.

The thoughts raced through his mind faster than the car speeding towards him. The safety sensors started beeping a warning, but something on the car blew.

He frantically tried to undo the straps that held him to the conveyor-belt as he realized that the robotic test car was going to run him down, but he'd been too worried about falling off and ruining the plan, and done the straps too well.

He closed his eyes, waiting for the impact. At least his mistake had only hurt _him_ …

Brakes screeched, and there was a sickening crunch, just a few feet in front of him. The conveyor-belt jolted to a stop, sirens wailing, and he opened his eyes to see a white scooter with a blue stripe smashed into the getaway car.

Perry the platypus had either jumped or been thrown clear, and his motionless body lay a few feet from him. He shook his head in disbelief, dropping to his knees, and reaching for the unstoppable little spitfire that suddenly looked so, fragile.

His feet were still tethered to the ground, but that didn't stop him from gathering the platypus into his arms, a tear falling onto the teal fur. "No! Why would you _do_ that? You stupid little… you had better wake up! Do you hear me!?"

There was no response from the agent as AJ came running. Her face was pale, but her voice was quiet and calm as she checked for a pulse. "Stop yelling."

She didn't try to take him from his arms as she felt for broken bones. At least he knew that if she was worried about trivialities like that, the platypus's heart was still beating.

It was _far_ to long before the limp body in his arms tensed, uttering a weak chatter. His eyes snapped open, then riveted to his face. Perry gave a little sigh when he saw that he'd stooped the car in time, and relaxed again, making him feel even more guilty.

AJ broke into a relieved smile, her voice soothing his nerves, even though he knew her concern was for the platypus. "You okay?"

The little guy winced, and carefully flexed his hands, then moved his arms, testing his range of motion. After a few seconds, he sat up, and gave a nod that clearly hurt him.

"You've got a nasty bump on your head. I'm going to go see why Carl doesn't have the medics up here yet. Stay awake."

Perry nodded, and the the girl raced off, abandoning the defenseless little agent to his stupidity.

 **A/N: I was not planning for the chapter to go there. It just sort of happened. But, there you have it. Now Doof has LITERALLY given Perry a headache. I'll post the next two chapters with this, since it's almost Christmas.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	4. Waiting Room

Doof paced back and forth in the waiting room while the girl that _called_ herself Perry's friend sat patiently with a magazine.

She glanced up, and caught his glace. "Calm down. They're just running mandatory scans. The doctor said Perry only has a mild concussion, and that he'll make a full recovery in a matter of days."

"I _heard_ him. But why are they taking so long? What if he slipped into a coma or something? What if they were wrong, and he has a blood clot? What if…"

"That's why they're running tests, and I'm pretty sure those are the ones they run first. You're not doing anyone any good getting yourself all worked up."

He glared at her. "And what exactly are _you_ doing?"

She refused to bicker with him. "I'm staying calm so that I don't upset Perry when he comes out."

He sighed, and sank into an empty chair. She had a point, much as he hated to admit it.

"It wasn't your fault."

He clenched his fists. "Yes, it was."

"It was an accident. You and Perry misunderstood each other. It would have been fine if the car hadn't malfunctioned. Perry saw that you couldn't get free in time, and he knocked the car off course. It could have been horrible; you both could have been killed, but it still would have been just an accident. You can't blame yourself for that. Heck, the trap was _my_ idea, and I outrank you."

He curled up into a ball in the chair. "If you really want to make me feel better, yell at me. Punch me or something. You need help? Just think what would have happened if Perry the platypus hadn't jumped free in time! Just picture…" he couldn't even s _ay_ it.

She calmly turned a page. "I couldn't see what happened from where I was. You don't need to tell me what to imagine, because it all went through my head when I saw the scooter veer. I also know that Perry had a split second to decide what he was going to do, and that he'd make that same decision if he'd had a million years."

He supposed that was true. The stubborn little creature had never show any regard for his own personal safety. During their early years, before he really got to know his nemesis, he'd assumed that he had some sort of death wish. "It doesn't make any sense. He's got a good home, apparently a family that loves him… why all the risks?"

"To keep them safe."

"His family?"

"First and foremost, but I meant everyone. It's why we do what we do."

He smiled at the 'we' when he realized it included him now, too. It didn't last long. He sighed, curling up more. "I blew up his home, I lost the cat, the bird and the hyena. I nearly killed them all trying to rescue them. I almost blew up headquarters again. And now I've almost gotten him killed."

A cheerful chatter agreed from the doorway. AJ's magazine slapped down on the stand as she dropped to the floor and held her arms out.

Doof watched as the platypus walked into the hug. He had a clean white bandage wrapped around his head, but other than that, he looked okay.

The vet stepped into the room. "Keep some ice nearby to help with the swelling, and he'll have a headache for a few days, but other than that, he's got a clean bill of health. I can give him something for the headaches, if you'll fill out the forms." He motioned for AJ to come with him. The platypus nuzzled her cheek before she got up and followed the doctor into the next room to fill out the prescription paperwork.

He wrung his hands as the little guy turned around. "Are you sick, too?"

The platypus blinked, then reached up to touch the bandage on his head. His eye widened in dismay as he felt the air as if expected to find something sitting on his head.

He sighed, watching the familiar movements. "That friend I wanted you to meet is sick, too. I almost got him killed."

The teal creature shook his head.

"Thank you, Steven. You know, I was starting to think I'd never see you again."

The platypus sighed, and stared out the window before nodding with a slightly forced looking smile.

"So did you hurt your head, too? Weird. You know, I keep hearing that platypi don't do much, but my nemesis, well, actually, he's the leader of the team I'm in now, anyway, he does quite a bit. He used to thwart me, and now he still fights evil, and rams into getaway cars…" he trailed off at the memory of the little guy lying in the middle of the training exercise.

The platypus came over and patted his hand. "Thanks, Steven. I was going somewhere with that… Oh, right. Then there's you. You saved me from that platypus hunter I hired to trap Perry the platypus, and now you've gone and gotten yourself admitted into the same hospital, also with a head injury. It's uncanny, and by that, I don't mean completely canny. Wait.. Maybe I do… what does canny even mean?"

The platypus pressed the bridge of his bill just _exactly_ like Perry the platypus had taken to doing lately.

He sighed. "You know, Steven, you look a _lot_ like that other platypus. I hope he's up walking around as good as you are, soon. He saved my life, again. I don't know how many times he's done that. How's that for gratitude? He saves my life, like, all the time, and I don't even keep track." He smiled. "Of course, I've known him longer than you. See, you saved my life, then you came back, and saved my life again, and while you were saving my life that time, I evened things up a bit, even though I do still owe you. You see? It's not like I don't remember, it's just that the vast quantity of times he saved my life is harder to keep track of."

The platypus was trying to listen, but there was a pained expression in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Steven. Am I making your head worse? I'll be quiet. It's just that I'm so worried about Perry the platypus, and it's hard to stop talking about it. Also, with the way you look just like him, Steven…"

"Steven?" Miss Chatty was back, without Perry the platypus.

He sighed. "Yeah. This is Steven. We met at the botanical gardens once. How do you two know each other?"

AJ frowned until Steven pointed to his head. "Oh… right." She sounded exhausted. "Doof, that's…" The platypus waved his hands, trying not to shake his head too much. "Um, just, _Steven_ needs to go home now. Perry's doing fine, and I'll bring him by to see you later, okay?"

"Are you sure he's fine?"

She picked up the platypus and nodded. "Yes, yes I am."

"Good. Can I see him?"

She was heading for the door. "Not right now. His head's sore, and he shouldn't wear his hat."

He crossed his arms. "Like _that_ would make a difference! Will you at least tell him to rest up?"

"Will do. See ya, Doof."

"Bye _MC._ See ya 'round, Steven!"

The platypus waved.

—

 **A/N: I couldn't resist! Doof turning good doesn't change how dense he can be. Besides, Perry pretending to be Steven so Doof wouldn't be sad was ADORABLE! {If you don't know what episode I'm talking about, it's Primal Perry (season 4, episode 3) Definitely worth finding, and I don't think there's enough spoilers here to ruin it.}**


	5. Recovery

Annie strapped Perry into the passenger seat, then buckled herself. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure there wasn't anyone within listening range. "Steven?!"

A little platypus laugh escaped the bill as he shrugged.

"Well, I've got your medication."

His chatter sounded concerned, and she looked down to find him pointing at her. "Me? I'm fine. You were the one who nearly got killed in a senseless accident." She heard the catch in her voice, and forced a smile. "Still, alls well that ends well."

He yawned.

"I had a nice long talk with Doof. Well, not _nice,_ but not terribly annoying. Anyway, he'll need a little reassurance from you, and I think he'll be back to his old self. And yes, I do need to keep talking, because according to the doctor, you can't take a nice long nap until we get home. You have to stay awake until then, just in case. That's the thanks you get for being such a hero all the time."

He got a satisfied little smile at that.

"Just, Perry?"

He looked over at her.

"Please don't pull another stunt like that if you can help it."

He shrugged.

"I know, I know. No promises."

She pulled into her driveway, and smiled. "Hey, lookit!"

He peered out the window, and gave a little sigh of relief when he saw that the house was pretty much back to normal from the front. It didn't look like they were done yet, but as far as she could tell, they were still on schedule.

She checked her watch as she scooped him gently into her arms. "Okay, Puddin', I guess you can get some rest now."

He snuggled into her shoulder with a contented chatter.

Doofenshmirtz rocked on his heals as he waited, wondering if anyone inside had even _heard_ the soft knock. This block looked familiar. He leaned back, and stared at yellow house that was in much better condition than he'd last seen it.

The door opened. "Hey. How'd you get this address?"

He kept staring at the house, wondering what it looked like inside now that it wasn't all blown up. He kept his voice as quiet as hers. "Monogram gave it to me."

"Traitor."

He shot a sharp look at her, but she wasn't glaring, so he smiled. "Yeah, well, don't be too hard on him. I called him like, four thousand thirty eight times. And a half. The half was when he finally gave in and screamed your address into the phone."

"Well for the record, you could have just called me. Since you have my contact information, which I know you do, because you've called me before."

She sounded sincere, but he'd already gotten her address. "I needed to know how Perry the platypus is."

"I would have told you." She stepped aside, inviting him in without verbally issuing the invitation. "He's right in here on the couch. Asleep, but fine." As she spoke, she hurried around the couch, moving a familiar little fedora.

He followed her, tipping his head to watch Perry the platypus sleep. "So, have you always lived right next to his host family?"

"His _family_ , and no. Only since you blew my cover when you found my last place."

"Right… sorry…" He sat down in the chair by the couch awkwardly.

"Don't be. It all worked out. I love it here."

She stepped into the next room, and came out with a plate of cookies, freshly baked from the smell of things.

He blinked in surprise when she held them out to him. "For me?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, I brought them out here to eat in front of you."

He took a cookie, and bit into it. "Not bad."

"Thanks." She set them down in front of him, handing him a glass of milk.

He glanced over at a gurgled chatter, but Perry the platypus was just cuddling further into his blankets, still asleep. "How's Steven?"

"He's fine. And before you ask again, I'd never met 'Steven' before. I was just helping him while he was sick."

"Oh. Cause when you hugged him, it looked like you knew him as well as Perry the platypus."

"Well there you go."

The platypus yawned in his sleep, and he grinned at the cuteness. "Our little leader…" he sighed. "I'm quiting the team."

"No you're not."

He looked at her. "AJ, I almost got him killed."

"Doof, you really think you're the only one on that team that might do something stupid, and make him pick up the slack? What if Karen gets sidetracked, or Harry gets laughing, and don't even get me started on how many times the poor little guy's had to come back for me. You were responsible for some of them."

He nodded. "But it;s different. Back then, I could console myself that we were nemeses, and he was the good guy, and he had to come back for me. Now…"

"You realize he was your only friend in the world, and you feel awful, and you're trying to pin it all on being an agent."

"Are you a shrink?"

She choked on a giggle, trying to stay quiet. "No. I'm a lonely person, and I've had a lot of time to try to figure you out."

Perry the platypus stretched, making a smacking sound with his bill as he sat up, looking around. "Hey sleepy head. Look who's here."

The little guy covered a yawn with one hand while he slatted the other at him in some weird, half-hearted wave."

He reached for another cookie. "Well, I can see why you're here, instead of that hospital. It must be worth listening to her for these cookies, huh."

Perry watched him take a bite, and reached for a cookie. His arm was too short, so he looked imploringly up at him, holding his hand out.

He rolled his eyes, and reached to move a cookie about six inches into the waiting hand. "You know you've spoiled him, right?"

From the look on her face, he thought she was going to make a dry joke about it being too much work for him to pass a cookie to the guy who got hurt saving his life, but she seemed to realize her eyes got the point across. "Let me grab you a glass of milk."

"You already got me a glass of milk."

She was already in the kitchen. "Talking to Perry."

"Right. So, um. How are you, Perry the platypus?"

The teal arm reached out again, hand opening and closing towards the plate. He glanced at the kitchen, and saw that AJ was still getting the milk, so he scooped up two cookies and handed them over, holding a finger to his lips.

Perry took them with a grin, stuffing one into his bill, and chewing happily. He finished them both off before AJ came back with the milk. She handed him one of the bigger cookies, and scooted the plate closer to him. He leaned back against the couch, dipping the cookie in his glass before taking another bite.

"You're gonna gain like, fifty pounds. And it's not going to be a pretty sight, Perry the platypus."

AJ sighed. "He doesn't eat like this all the time. Leave him alone."

Perry chattered his agreement, shooting him a disdainful look.

He didn't mind, so long at the platypus was able to give him any sort of look at all.

He stood up. "Well, you seem to be doing better, and I guess you're in good hands. Thanks for the cookie, AJ."

He turned for the door, when he heard a chatter behind him. He looked back to see Perry the platypus pointing to the chair he'd been sitting in.

"Yeah, you don't have to go, Doof."

"Are, are you sure?"

"Of course."

Perry nodded, taking a sip of milk. He didn't really have anything else to do, so he st back down with a grateful smile. He reached for a cookie, then held it out towards Perry.

The platypus didn't look so sure about taking this one. In fact, he was certain he turned a shade of green under that teal fur.

He chuckled, and bit into the cookie. "So I saw Steven yesterday…"

 **A/N: I'm sure that one earned another eye roll, if not from you, then from Annie and Perry. Hey, at this rate, I might get the Flynn-Fletcher's house put back together in a couple more chapters! Lol**

 **Why do we torture Perry the platypus? So we can wrap him in cuddly blankets and give him cookies to make him feel better! Poor little guy has a rough life, especially with all us fans making things even harder for him.**

 **Oh well. I hope you liked the chapters, and if you're reading this the day I posted, (Or a year, two years, three years, etc from now) then Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	6. Should I Stay?

Annie woke to find Perry sleeping on top of her side, head snuggled close to her heart. He got like this when he was away from his family too long. Like a puppy separated from its mother, he seemed to take comfort from the sound of a heartbeat, even if it wasn't from the person he truly longed to hear.

Hers had been working better since the the little incident with 'The Villain'. He'd been doing well, keeping up with his swimming, even in the fall weather, but the poor little guy had had to deal with so much lately…

She stroked her hand down his back, careful of his head. He stretched, and yawned, then blinked his eyes open. He started at her for a second, then looked around, clearly unable to remember climbing on top of her in the night.

She chuckled softly, and slid him to the blankets as she got up. "They'll be home soon. Monogram said maybe even tomorrow, meaning you at least won't have to miss your weekend."

He smiled at the thought, and stretched again. When Monogram had asked him to train the team, he'd actually agreed to let the platypus have normal hours, except for being on call twenty four seven for emergencies, that is. Maybe not a perfect arrangement, but it did let Perry spend his weekends at home.

"How's your head?"

He gave her a thumbs up.

"You wanna head over and see how the reconstruction is going?"

He nodded with a chatter and hopped down from the bed.

Doofenshmirtz grumbled not quite under his breath, _wanting_ the intern to hear every word. "Oh sure. They put weapons in my hands, but they can't even trust me with beverages…"

Carl shot him a scowl. "We _don't_ trust you with weapons. And your file strictly forbids caffeine consumption. It says it makes you hyper, unreasonable, and erratic."

He crossed his arms, drawing his face into a pout. "Who wrote that nonsense?"

"Agent P."

He stopped short. "What!? _Perry the platypus_ is the one who wont let me have coffee? He's not even here!" He knew he was wrong about that when he heard a familiar chatter coming from around the corner.

They walked onto the training grounds, and found the rest of the team huddled around a _much_ better looking Perry the platypus. He was grinning, and motioning for them to quiet down.

"Perry the platypus, what are you doing back at work already? You had a concussion! You can't be here doing training excesses and things yet!"

AJ's voice joined in the chaos. "Alright, that's enough… Doof, you're not helping!"\

"Well neither are you! Now we just have to talk louder to talk over you, and…"

"You shouldn't be talking at all!"

"You're one to talk! If I had a nickle for every time…"

A sharp whistled silenced them all. He swallowed, and looked down at the platypus, but their little leader only looked mildly annoyed. He nodded in satisfaction at the silence, then gestured to AJ.

"Perr… Agent P is going to be supervising today. I'll be assisting you on ground, but as field agents, this was never about seeing how well _we_ could complete the test, anyway. It's about working together as a team."

He resisted the urge to monologue, and just nodded, glad that the platypus would be out of harms way. Now he just had to worry about getting the other's killed. That would be bad enough, but there was something particularly horrible of the concept of Perry the platypus drawing his last breath because of him.

The chatter had an air of repetition to it, and he looked down to find Perry tapping his foot.

"Sorry. I'm listening now."

The platypus nodded patiently, and started mapping out the plan all over again. He watched every movement, memorizing each detail, not just his own. He was giving himself only those one more chance. The _very_ next time he messed up, he was going to walk from the team, and never look back. Well, he'd be looking back, often, but he'd never let them bring him back. He'd already made up his mind; it was probably the most good he could possibly do anyway.

Perry finished, making eye contact with each of them. AJ didn't look worried. Maggie looked confident, Harry only looked a bit nervous. Karen didn't looked concerned at all.

There was something different in the brown eyes as they met his. He'd just been checking to make sure everyone else understood. Now he looked concerned.

He smiled in a way that he hoped was reassuring, but it probably fell short of the mark, since he'd just given himself an ultimatum he was doomed to fail. "I've got it, Perry the platypus."

He gave a single nod, but didn't break eye contact, looking at him in that way that told him he _knew_ something was wrong.

He saved him the trouble, and started towards the training ground, trying to relieve his pent up nerves by blowing off steam. He found himself muttering under his breath again. "What was your first clue, Mr. Observancey? If I goofed up any worse, we'd be attending your funeral right now."

"What was that?"

From her tone, AJ really hadn't heard him. He didn't want to say it again, so he changed the subject. "What animal are you?"

She stared at him like he'd sprouted a second head. He checked, but everything felt normal.

"What?"

He rolled his eyes. "O.W.C.A. is an all animal agency. Like Carl keeps reminding me, I had to be raised by ocelots to get in. So, how'd you pass screening?"

"You're just wondering about that now?"

He shrugged. "It's never come to mind when you were nearby, or not being rude or rambley before. So, what animal? Were one of your foster families animals or something?"

She sighed. "I was an experiment."

He stopped short, clasping his hand over his mouth. "You mean, you _used_ to be an animal?!"

She wrinkled her nose. "No! I mean that bringing in a _human_ agent was an experiment."

"Why you?"

She started walking again. "That's classified."

"Aw, come _on_! I'm not evil anymore! I'm on your team!"

She quickened her pace, not bothering to so much as glance back. He pouted. If he was going to give up being an agent after his next failure, he'd prefer to have at least t _hat_ question answered.

He turned, and went back to find Perry climbing into the surveillance van.

"Perry the platypus?"

He glanced down at his watch before looking up.

"I know, we've only got a few minutes before we start, but I just wanted to ask you something real quick. How did AJ join the O.W.C.A."

The teal hand lifted then froze. He was either unsure how to explain, or he just didn't know. From the look on his face, it was the latter.

He frowned. "How can _you_ not know?! You're her best friend, and she'd a blabber mouth!"

Perry's eyes darted to him as the bill twitched into a wry smile.

"Yeah, yeah, she doesn't talk as much as me, whatever. The point is, I tell you everything! Why does she hold secrets like not having a family so close? And why haven't you asked? I mean, she couldn't have been that old. How does a teenage girl with no family end up the only non-animal agent in an agency no one's supposed to know about? She must've got caught up in it _somehow._ "

Perry shook his head.

"She didn't?"

He rolled his eyes, and shook her head again, holding his pen out, and letting it drop to the floor.

It rolled to his foot, and he bent to pick it up and hand it back. "You, of all people, know I can't let things go, Perry the platypus! Do you know or not?"

Perry shook his head, but there was something in his expression that told him that he _had_ tried to ask her.

"Doof, where'd you go? We're at our positions."

He sighed, nodded to Perry, and left the van. "Sorry. I'll be right there."

Or should he be chalking this up as his last mistake?

—

 **A/N: I don't know how many of you like, or remotely care about Annie, but these are legitimate questions that haven't been answered. (Not that anyone's asked, but hey, I could drop off the face of the earth again. The least I can do is try to answer such things before that!)**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	7. Retest

Annie drummed her fingers, sending up a quick prayer that maybe Doof could get this one right, for his sake. All that backstory, all those failures, they had to add up.

While she waited, she double checked to make sure all the safety lights were glowing on the equipment. Not that it mattered, they had been before. That car had gone haywire mid test. It was strange, because it hadn't been run that many times. There was a lot of high tech stuff, but O.W.C.A. had seemed so on top of it.

Still no Doof. She lifted a panel and stared at the mess of wires, wishing she had acquired her second dimension's knack for wiring, then slamming the panel back down, shaking the thought away at the memory of _why_ the other her had learned circuitry.

A concerned chatter filled her ear-piece, and she sent a wry glance up at the 'hidden' camera. Of course their little leader had nothing better to do than watch them while they all waited for…

Wait… "Perry, is Doof heading for his station?"

Something clicked on the other end, then Perry chattered an affirmative.

So that was alright then. She turned her focus back to the plan. They weren't going for a repeat, since Perry was stuck in the command center, and tying Doof to the conveyor-belt had been unorthodox in the first place.

Finally, Doof signaled that he was at his post.

Perry chattered, turning the com over to her. "Alright, guys, we've had a practice go that threw us a curve-ball, but Carl had the technicians go over this with a fine tooth comb, and its' going to be a cinch, this time. Stick to the plan, keep on your toes, and remember, this is all about _teamwork._ Let's get started."

* * *

Doofenshmritz sighed, feeling like the pep talk had been meant more for him than anyone else. He crossed his arms, and gave the plan a once over, one more time. He'd prepared himself as much as he could. This was it. One mistake, and he was never coming back.

"Oh, and Doof?"

Yep, here she went. She was about to make it all obvious, and try to reassure him that _when_ he messed up, like he was sure to do, he didn't have to leave. Well she was wrong.

"Perry and I were going over the clips from your hat cams of your part in the whole Flee situation, and I just wanted to let you know that I expect you to modify that song of yours to include the rest of the team."

"Oh. Well, I guess I did leave out Perry the platypus, huh? In my defense, you weren't even there!"

"Well I am now, so edit!"

A less than patient chatter overrode the conversation.

"Later though. Sorry, let's got for real this time, guys!"

That was strange. Why would she ask him to rewrite the song? Maye she forgot he was going to quit. That was probably it. Still.. It wouldn't hurt… he'd have to give Harry's R to Perry, and maybe they could use the T from platypus, and the A from AJ… wait! Without him, there wouldn't be an O! He needed to fix that.

The conveyor belt started moving, and this time, it wasn't dragging him with it. Focus. Not on the stupid headlights of that car that almost… no!

He needed to focus. Harry and AJ were driving, and he and Maggie were playing lookout for each of them. Karen was, well, if they didn't need her to fight, she was a bit useless… "Woah! Harry, watch out for that…" The garbage can rolled up over the car, dumping it's contents on both of them. Harry didn't respond for a full second before breaking into a cackle.

He crossed his arms. "You did that on purpose."

Harry cackled again, then froze, ear twitching. Good. Perry the platypus was cussing him out for that dumb trick that… hey, turn left!… Now right!"

He pressed the com link. "AJ, when you get to the 'left turn', try to get the car in the middle as much as possible." He realized then that he was changing the plan.

She only hesitated a second. "Alright."

He gulped. Great. It would have been bad enough to keep his mouth shut and fail. Not the whole thing was riding on him. Maye he should have explained, but there was no time. "Harry, ram that garbage can again! Aim to the right!"

The hyena wasn't the best driver in the group, but he pulled it off. The can flew into the air, and landed right in front of the car, which sensors caused it to swerve. The warning lights flashed as the sensors detected that Annie's vehicle was too close.

Harry swerved back in, blocking off the escape, and the engine of the car shut itself down as the conveyorbelt stopped.

Carl's voice came in over the speaker… "Um, this is the part of the test where you're _supposed_ to chase down the suspects on foot if need be, but, since I haven't heard from the day players since they stormed out of here, I'm going to give you this one. Good work, team!"

AJ hopped out of the car, and came over, smiling. He was in no mood to put up with her smugness, so he opened the passenger door, and started to evacuate. A small teal agent stood in his way, with an almost proud smile on his face. He gave him a thumbs up.

He couldn't help smiling back. He knew he hadn't done all that much, and they'd passed on a technicality, but, it still felt pretty good.

AJ caught up. "Good call, Doof. That was some quick thinking. Perry knew you had it in you."

He shrugged. "Well it wasn't all that… hey!"

Harry howled with laughter and Maggie joined right in, but the happy gurgle from the platypus kept him from scowling at anyone. Besides, at least it was good natured teasing. That kind, well, it wasn't so bad.

Annie broke into a smile as she pulled past her house, and into the next driveway Perry shot her a strange look. She grinned, and snatched the hat from his head.

He looked confused, until he realized why she'd do those things in that order.

She opened the door, and he scrambled over her to get out.

"Perry!"

She took her time unbuckling while Phineas and Ferb raced out to their pet, and dropped to the ground to wrap their arms around him.

She stepped out of the car, and walked up to where Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher was standing by the car. "Would you like some help unpacking?"

She waved her hand. "Nonsense. You've done enough, watching Perry for even longer than we asked you to. I'm just glad we were able to get home today. The people who were handling the error with our tickets weren't sure it was going to happen."

She turned to watch Perry allow himself a smile and Phineas hugged him and Ferb patted his back.

Candace came out of the house. "Mom where do you want your suitcase? Oh, there you are Perry." She stooped to pet him, then came over to the car.

"Just put it on my bed. I'll unpack later. Here, these go upstairs, too."

She grabbed the top one. "Here."

"Thanks!" As they went inside, Candace half turned to her. "I've been meaning to ask you; what brand of makeup do you use?"

She shrugged. "Mostly just foundation, and generic eye shadows. Why?"

"Cause you always look so, I don't know, put together! I want to try a new look, without going all emo, again. Would you help me?"

She laughed. "I'd be happy to, but makeup really isn't my forte."

"You're good with pallets, though. I'm too overbearing. At least, that what Quazmo magazine says."

So Doof wasn't the only one who needed a confidence boost. She smiled. "Let's just get you guys unpacked for now. Tell you what, why don't you come over after work tomorrow, and I'll give you a run down on what I know about makeup." She didn't bother to mention that she'd already unveiled her vast knowledge pretty much entirely. That didn't mean she couldn't help.

"Sweet! Thanks Annie!"

* * *

Phineas reluctantly let Ferb have a turn holding Perry. "It's so good to be home!"

Perry chattered, almost liked he was agreeing with them. He laughed, and Ferb smiled, rocking their pet gently. "It certainly is."

* * *

 **A/N: Yay! The Flynn-Fletchers are back, and Perry's home, and it's all in one piece! (Well, mostly. Don't worry, I plan on fixing the tree in the back yard. After all, Perry was in that tree while Phineas was trying to decide to go to college, so we know they got it right eventually! ; )**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	8. Less than Typical Monday

Perry saw the boys off at the bus stop, then was about to head for his lair when he saw Annie's car. He paused, then plodded though the pet door, and into her kitchen. He yawned, and scratched an itch against her doorway, ignoring the fact that she was running laps around her table.

"Morning..,

…puddin'…

…wanna..

…cuppa…

…coffee?"

He dodged her, climbing up onto her counter to get himself a cup, bill twitching into an amused smile.

She slowed down, pulling out a stop watch. "My time's still down."

He poured the coffee, giving a questioning chatter.

"No, no special reason. Just trying to stay in shape."

He climbed back down with his cup, and settled into his usual chair.

"So… how was your weekend?"

He leaned back with a smile and a contented chatter.

She reached to pet him. "Good for you. And… the house?"

He pulled a slip of paper from his hat, and handed it to her.

"Yikes! How'd they mess up the tree?! That's not going to be hard to explain, or anything. New lair equipment though, nice. A bit low of Monogram, but still, little perks are better than none."

He smirked, finishing his coffee.

When he put his cup in the sink, he frowned and pointed at the coffee pot.

"DO you want more?"

He shook his head, and pointed again.

"Oh. I don't drink it every morning."

He pointed at the coffee pot one last time, a skeptical look coming in his eyes.

She smiled. "I just always put a pot on, just in case I have company. Now that you've mentioned it, though…" She filled a travel mug, and added sugar, and a lot of cream. "Want one to go?"

He shook his head, and followed her out to her car, pointing.

"Sure, I'll give you a lift. Hop in!"

It made more sense than them both traveling in separate vehicles. Besides, if she drove, his weekend wouldn't be over until they showed up at work. He leaned back against the seat, and closed his eyes, fully relaxed.

Her finger stroked the side of his face, and he smiled, not bothering to open his eyes. She wasn't Doof, so he doubted she was looking at him instead of the road.

All too soon, the car stopped. "We're here, Boss."

He opened his eyes, and adjusted his hat.

"So, what are we working on today? Town Square Riot, or Escape the Ancient Ruin?"

He thought for a second, then shrugged, and pretended to put glasses on.

"Right… I haven't heard if Carl found the Day Players yet, either. Good point."

He froze. Something was missing. There was something else he…

He broke into a huge smile as he remembered, and hugged her before she could get her door opened. She snuggled him close. "You thanked me. And you didn't have to."

He nodded, and hopped out of the car, smiling at the bright new day.

"Yep, things are back to normal."

He shot her a look. Her tone was off, and something was bothering her. Come to think of it, it wasn't strange to barge into her house and find her training, but laps around her table first thing in the morning?

She was already pressing a button on her watch. "Hey, Carl. Agent P and I just got here."

He couldn't see the screen from down here, but he could hear the nasally voice easily enough. "Um, alright… you guys hardly need to check in, you know, Agent X. That's what the hand-print scanners are for."

She finished the last of her coffee, and turned back towards the car. He clapped, and held his hands out.

She smiled her thanks, and tossed it to him, finding her keys, and clicking the doors unlocked.

He ran it back and put it in the cup holder, hitting the lock button on the door before heading back.

She'd already finished her conversation. "He got the day players, and some extras, so we have to run Town Riot today, and we're only going to get one shot. It figures."

He nodded, refusing to sigh. The Town Riot section in the handbook only outlined basis crowd control procedures. They had less to go on than before, and the way the team wasn't exactly coming together… he sighed.

Annie stopped short, and he froze, too, shooting a glance at the worried look on her face. "Is Doof sleeping in again?"

He inhaled sharply and followed her gaze to only three team members. The new agents were still required to clock in early for extra training, and Doof had been doing well about getting there on time, except for the purposely early morning mission scheduled on what he now referred to as Doom's Day.

He pressed the button on his watch, letting out an angry chatter as the call was answered with a fake cough. "Hey, I have sick days, Perry the platypus, and I'm taking one."

He gave up the ruse, and leaned in close, whispering, "Don't tell anyone, but Vanessa is spending the day here, and I've been so busy lately, I haven't gotten a chance to see my baby girl."

He could sympathize, but…

Annie clicked her watch on. "You're an agent, now. Personal time is a fondly remembered dream."

Doof gave a gurgle of indignation. "Perry the platypus! I told you not to tell anyone."

Annie rolled her eyes. "You whispered it so loud, Monogram probably heard you!"

"Rude, MC. Totally rude."

"Doof, we're doing the Town Riot today, and we can't postpone it. Are you really going to abandon your team?"

He gave a dry laugh. "It's probably the most helpful thing I can do for you guys. Good luck." With that, he clicked the watch off, and refused to answer.

He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his bill, trying to rub away the headache as it crept back.

Annie stooped down and put her hand on his shoulder. "Should one of us go get him?"

He looked around and saw that the test was nearly set up. He shook his head with a frown, and walked over to their other team members.

She followed, and Monogram stepped out to brief them. "Well, it looks like Doof has the Alcopocococowaka flu, so you're going to have to roll out without a full team… well, your full team. With AJ in the group, you're technically still a team of five. Still, there's an applicable lesson here. When duty calls, you need to be ready to answer, full team or no."

He cleared his throat, and read from his clipboard like he was handing out an assignment. "Agent P, we've noticed a disturbance down in the town square where discontented crowds have been gathering. I want you and your team to go check it out, and defuse the situation if possible."

They saluted, and walked on set.

There were a lot more day players. So many, he couldn't help but wonder if the memory wiper was going to be used later, and if not, what these people had been told.

He pointed to Maggie, then up. She saluted, looking a little annoyed to be surveillance again, but what did she expect?

He pointed to Harry, and motioned mid left, then pointed towards the mid right for Karen. The cat would do her own thing unless and until a fight broke out, so he could only hope she'd find a box to curl up in and stay there.

He smiled at Annie, and pointed to the right. She nodded, and should have started off as quickly as the others, but she was giving him a worried look. She got down to one knee, talking in a quiet whisper. "Are you sure your head's well enough for this?"

He nodded reassuringly, and gave her a thumbs up, pointing right again. She saluted. "Got it, Boss."

He smiled, and headed left, wondering when the test would begin. Right now, the crowd was just mingling.

"Announcing Mayoral candidate, Preston Finley!"

A random day player crushed his foam coffee cup. "I can't stand that guy!"

A woman with a large purse pulled out a club. 'Me neither! Let's get him!"

Not exactly subtle, but he understood now. These must be trained fighters, either from other agencies, or being told that this was a training exercise. The best tactic was to calm the crowd down, but since no one was listening to Annie…

He smiled when he saw Harry and Karen were already sparring. Quite well. Annie got the idea as a man grabbed a woman's purse, and swung it at her face. From the looks of things, he early morning training hadn't tired her out too much.

He grinned, and leapt up to punch a man with a torch in the face. He fought till he could barely stand up, then sat down to indicate he was tagging out. Some people tagged out when he so much as looked at them, but most people seemed to be there to fight.

It wasn't a problem.

When the dust cleared, very few moments later, his team were the only ones left standing.

He smiled, proud of each of them. Something twinged in his chest, though. It would probably have gone just as smoothly with Doof. He really didn't see how the man could mess this up, not that it was always obvious…

Maybe he was worrying over nothing but… no, he'd known Doof too long, listened to too many back stories. This was going to bother the former evil scientist.

And the worst part was, he wasn't one hundred percent positive it _hadn't_ gone so smoothly because Doof wasn't there.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry if that chapter seemed a little off. It's** _ **hard**_ **to go to Perry's POV without using his thoughts in italics. If we get to a point where I need to say what he's thinking for an awwww factor, I'll probably give in, but I'll refrain until that point.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	9. Or Should I Go?

Annie wished she hadn't decided not to skip her coffee as she spewed it all over the kitchen.

With a sigh at her own over-dramatics, she grabbed a dish towel, and mopped the mess up. Seriously? Did Doof really think they were just going to leave it at that? No way. Perry had too much time invested in the nut-job, and he, he just didn't need to deal with this crap right now!

She scribbled him a note, and left it by her coffee pot, figuring that if anyone else came in, well, they were welcome to it instead.

Then she grabbed her pocket book, and stormed out the door.

_—

Doofenshmirtz groaned as someone pounded on his door. He got up, put his robe on, and shuffled to answer it.

"Ah. AJ. What could you possibly want." She stepped into the room even though he'd hardly issued an invitation.

"Get your butt down to the O.W.C.A. right this second."

He crossed his arms. "I take it you got my message. I mean it. I quit. You guys don't need me! You passed that test with flying colors!"

She glared at him. "Oh, boo hoo! If we'd failed, you'd have said it was all your fault for abandoning us. You're just looking for an excuse to throw in the towel."

He clenched his fists. "Why are you here? You should be _with_ me on this one!"

She took a menacing step forward that had him holding up his hands to protect his face. "Don't you _dare_ say that this is for Perry."

He let his hands drop, taking a menacing step of his own. She didn't back down. "Don't _you_ dare say that you're here for Perry the platypus! Do you know how many times that little guy has survived my Dumkoff traps, and plots, and accidents? I know I used to try to kill him, but, AJ, I used to try to _kill_ him!"

Her face softened, and suddenly he wasn't so sure she'd come here strictly for Perry the platypus at all. "That's all behind you now."

"That's what I tried to tell myself, but look what happened! I can't keep it up. Perry the platypus makes mistakes, too. One day, we're both going to mess up at the same moment, and one of us isn't going to survive that. With my luck... he doesn't stand a chance."

"Maybe you're right."

He nodded, miserably.

"And maybe, you're wrong. You're friends. So maybe that is a mistake. But he's never going to give up on you. If I don't get you down there, he's going to…"

There was a crash as the door was knocked in. She looked as shocked as he was as the angry platypus marched into the room, and stood there, scowling.

She slapped her palm to her forehead as Perry handed her a tablet.

"What?"

She sighed, waving the tablet. "I left this on my table, so he saw your note."

"Well, you can both go then, because I'm not changing my mind." He stooped down. "Perry the platypus, I appreciate you coming all the way over here. But this secret agent stuff, it just isn't for me."

The little guy stared up at him then looked around the empty apartment. Something hardened in his expression, and he pointed towards the door.

"Yes, that's my door, or it was, before you broke it. Now if you'll excuse me, you two have a training exercise to get to."

He stood up, and tried to walk away, but Perry darted in front of him, blocking him as he tried to step. It was so familiar... he had no intention of taking a swing at the little guy… it just happened.

Perry the platypus dodged it with a _very_ familiar smirk.

Uh oh.

He raced for the couch, grabbing a pillow to try to keep things as pain free as possible, but he didn't run as fast at the platypus, and the agent met him there, jumping up to punch him in the face.

He'd forgotten how much that tiny little fist hurt. "Ow! Stop it!" And the beaver tail… he fell on his backside, and grabbed for the platypus, who was already out of reach. As he scrambled to his feet, he caught sight of an amused smile across the room. "AJ, he's thwarting me!"

She laughed, and he knew why when a little webbed foot slammed into his rump, knocking him to the floor again. "Ow! What was that for?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say he was listening at the door before he knocked it in."

"Oh." He let his face fall to the floor. "Fine. Beat me up. Thwart me. In, fact, why don't you just throw me off of the balcony, Perry the platypus? It'd be better for everyone."

Two webbed feet padded over to stand near his face, and a concerned chatter asked if he'd taken things a little too far.

He moaned, then shot his arms out, this time, capturing the agent. "Gotcha!"

The brown eyes widened in alarm as he grinned menacingly, not sure what to do at this point. Oh well. He poked a finger into the platypus's side, and the little monotreme flinched away, just enough… "Uh oh, you're in trouble now! I just found a tickle spot!" he pinning him to the ground, trying to find another one. Perry struggled to get away, but he was trying not to laugh too hard to do much of anything. A camera flashed and Perry peered over at his partner. He jerked his head towards him with a chatter.

"No fair! She didn't help me! You stay out of this AJ." He realized the glance in her direction was a mistake when he looked back down, and the agent was gone. "How'd he…?"

An arm, he was sure it was a teal one, wrapped around his shoulder as he wrenched his arm behind his back. "OW! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Let go!" When the platypus didn't let him up, he sighed, and looked over at AJ. "He's got that look, doesn't he?"

She shrugged. "That, 'not until you do what I want' look? Yeah. He's got that look."

He struggled, but the platypus had his arm wrenched behind him in a way that made moving even a little painful. "Fine. I won't quit. Yet."

Perry let go of his arm ,and flipped down in front of him, grinning with a mischievous twinkle in his eye that reminded him why he never stayed mad at his little buddy. It also reminded him why he couldn't actually go back. He stood up, and walked to the closet, then locked himself in quickly. "I lied! Go away!"

"Doof, this isn't funny. You're going to make us all late."

Perry the platypus chattered.

"Are you sure? Well, okay." She raised her voice. "Look, I'm heading out, Doof. I hope I see you both down there."

He slid down against the wall, hanging onto the doorknob so that Perry the platypus couldn't get in.

The closet light clicked on, and a note slid under the door. He scowled at it. Nope. No way was he going to… he sighed, and snatched it up angrily. After all the rants and back-stories, how could he ever ignore anything Perry tried to say to him?

 _'I was worried about becoming an agent, too.'_

He blinked in surprise. "But you're the best they have!"

Another note slipped under the door. _'I wasn't.'_

"Yeah, well, I bet you didn't mess up all the time."

 _'Perry the platypus makes mistakes, too._ ' He smiled at that one. The little guy had been listening, and he was right on the ball. As usual.

Before he could even say anything, another note slid under the door. _'You've got some learning to do, but you really could help people.'_

"You're just saying that."

'Why?'

It was surreal. He'd never had a conversation with Perry the platypus like this. Of course, he'd never shut himself in a closet, either.

He sighed, turned the knob, and pushed the door open. Perry was leaned against the door frame with a notepad. He peered up at him, looking too stinking cute for being such a pain. "You're not going to give up on me, are you?"

The platypus smiled, and shook his head.

He bit his lip. "Alright. I'll think about it, okay? But I need time. Can you give me another couple days?"

He mulled that over, then nodded, tapping his head with a stern look.

"Okay. I'll really think about it. Perry the platypus? Thanks. You know, you're… you're a better friend than you are a nemesis. You always have been, huh?"

The platypus tipped his hat and left, practically skipping over his broken front door.

He didn't want to be a liability, but he also didn't know how to let the little guy down. He sighed, and closed the closet door. "Curse you, Perry the platypus."

_—

 **A/N: I'm sorry, just… the cuteness is enough of an excuse, right? Maybe? Anything? Well, thanks for reading in any case.**


	10. Escape?

Perry landed at the top of the 'ancient ruin' as she climbed the last step. "Hello again. I don't think I've said good morning, yet. So… Doof?"

He tapped his watch, and looked at her, waiting.

She pulled her tablet from her purse, preferring to use the larger screen. "Ah. Still on sick leave. Alright. We'll cover for him."

He gave her a thumbs up, then looked at the temple like building behind him.

"Shouldn't be bad. I mean, escaping traps is pretty much the O.W.C.A. trademark, so… we'll be fine. Maggie shouldn't have a problem. Harry should excel at any strength tests…" She left it unsaid that someone would have to go for Karen and most likely carry her out, and that if Harry ran into any brain teasers, they'd have to double back for him, too.

Perry gave a tired chatter, and nodded like she'd said it anyway.

A nasally voice chirped behind her. "Doofenshmritz is a no show again? Major Monogram isn't going to like this."

"Still on sick leave, Carl."

"He hasn't accumulated any sick days yet! He's only been an agent for a few weeks!"

She turned around. "Carl, how much sick and or vacation time have Perry and I accumulated?"

He pulled at his collar, and the only reason she didn't have to catch him before he stepped over the edge of the stairs was because Perry was there to grab his pant-leg. He adjusted his glasses. "Thanks, Agent P. Um, let's see here… you've both actually used more since you started working together than your entire careers prior… huh. But… yikes! Um, are you saying you'd be willing to transfer a couple days to Doofenshrmitz?"

Perry glanced up at her and she nodded. "It's not like I was ever going to get to use them all anyway."

"Okay. So for this one, we actually don't have any day players. And, as you've no doubt noticed, there's nothing in the manual except for proper escape techniques. So.. Sorry about this, guys."

"What are you…" his face got fuzzy as he covered his mouth, and stepped away from them.

"I know you've been through this before, but it's mandatory."

She knew she should know what he was talking about, but all she really knew for sure was that she had an overpowering urge to sit down. "Carl?"

"Everything's okay. Just relax."

She was lying down now, and so was Perry, a green fog surrounding them. He lifted his head to look at her, and something about his almost bored expression calmed her. Everything was… something.

_—

She woke up with a splitting headache. "They so didn't just do that. Carl, I am going to have such a talk with…" she opened her eyes to sheer darkness. "Perry?" Nothing but silence answered her. She wasn't worried until she tried to stand up, and realized that there was barely enough space for her between the ceiling and the floor. The same went for the walls, everything stone. Probably the temple's version of a vent. No biggie. She belly-crawled forward, only to fine a solid wall directly in front of her. With a sigh, she stated to slither backwards, only to find another block at her feet.

 _'Stay calm. There's a way out.'_ She carefully felt over every inch of her prison, even though it only made her more claustrophobic by the second. No latches, everything felt so solid…

She clicked her watch on, but nothing happened. Not even a light. It was just a test. Wasn't it? Now she knew what the gas had been about. She was disoriented. Too bad knowing that didn't really help her. Not knowing what else to do, she pressed as hard as she could against the wall in front of her. When that didn't budge, she began to kick the wall in back as hard as she could.

Was she really failing a trainee test? Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

_—

Perry opened his eyes, and looked around calmly. He'd been an agent too many years to think twice about being suspending over lava in a bird cage. _This_ was the test? He doubted the lava was anything more serious than colored water, but he wasn't going to risk failing on a technicality. He reached inside of his hat and found that it was empty.

He slapped it back on his head and crossed his arms. Wasn't this supposed to simulate a field mission? Oh well. He'd certainly made do before. He felt around the floor of the cage. Nothing. But it was a bird cage.

He stood up, and started pulling and twisting on one of the thin metal bars. He could have kept going, he supposed, but it was easier to just bent the 'bar' that was really more of a wire, and pick the lock. He swung the cage until he was close enough to the edge, and flipped down easily. The whole process took longer than he'd have liked, but he was reasonably sure Doof would only be just about done with his backstory right about now…

The thought gave him mixed feelings. It wasn't that he wanted to go back to the days where the scientist was waisting his life by being evil, it had just become so familiar. It was one of the reasons his wanted the man on his team. It took a while to get acclimated to Doof, and while he wasn't exactly patient with him, he'd always tolerated him, even as a nemesis.

The light from the lava room was fading, but there were torches in the hall up ahead. He took one of them down, just in case, and wandering along. He didn't have his field manual, but he hardly needed it. The only priority of the test was to escape. He'd only gotten out of the first trap. He was sure there'd be more. He pressed a button on his watch to find out how his team was doing, and found that it was disconnected. All he had access to what the time.

He frowned a bit at that, but he wasn't going to worry if this was a timed test or not. They'd do their best, and if they had to retest, so be it.

Light from the torch bounced off the walls and the slapping sound of his feet on the stone floor was the only sound. It was actually sort of peaceful.

He continued on, looking for the rest of his team, when he became aware of a faint, pounding noise. He cautiously chose the tunnels that led towards it.

As the pounding got louder, he stopped, and listened more closely… the muffled cry was repeated. " _Perry!"_

He nearly lost his grip on the torch as he raced full speed down the hallway. He saw the gap in the floor just in time, and sprang over it. He only saw the net when he was airborn. There was nothing he could do as he landed, and it triggered, bagging him and springing into the air. He was still holding the torch, but burning his way out didn't seem like such a good idea. He dropped it to the stone floor below, and started chewing his way through the rope.

The pounding was coming from somewhere ahead of him. It was getting more frantic, but it was the occasional cry that worried him. " _Perry!"_ She sounded so terrified. He couldn't think of a single thing about this test that should get her into this state… maybe something had malfunctioned? " _Perry!"_ Each time she called his name was a plea for help. He gnawed harder.

The rope snapped, and he tumbled to to stone floor. He rolled with it, grabbing the torch again, and using the momentum to launch into a running pace.

Finally, he reached the source. A small, square section of the wall had a section that looked something like a safe tumbler. The pounding was definitely coming from that square. He glared at is as he put his ear to it, and tried to work the code. The pounding wasn't helping. He tapped the square, and chattered, hoping to at least tell her he was there, but either he wasn't loud enough, or the stone was too thick. He'd have to work around the pounding.

' _Perry!'_ She almost sounded like she was crying.

If he couldn't figure out the combination, he was going to find some way to smash through this thing…

The lock clicked, and he just barely ducked in time to avoid getting it kicked into his head.

Dusty sneakers flailed over him, and the girl wiggled out of a tiny enclosure. Her breaths were coming in ragged gasps like she was having a panic attack, and there were tears streaming down her face.

What the heck was Monogram thinking?

He wrapped his arms around her neck, and chattered soothingly. She choked on a sob, and tried to get her breath back. He didn't know if humans liked to be petted, but it always made him feel so much better… he rubbed her shoulder.

Her breathing steadied as she hugged him back. "Thanks." Her voice was still a funny, broken warble, instead of her usual confident joy, but she was making progress. He stepped back, and climbed up into the trap she'd been in, trying to figure out why she hadn't been able to free herself. He realized with a start that the _only_ way was to unlock it from the outside. He picked up the hat that had fallen from her head, and brought it out.

She was still sitting down, so he plopped it on her head then hopped into her arms to get a good look at the locking mechanism.

It was made of two solid steel bars. There was no way she could have broken through.

What kind of test was this?

_—

 **A/N: Strange chapter, I know. But that's how it played out, soooo… more about what's going on next time!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	11. Hardcore

"I don't understand."

Perry nodded in agreement, giving her a careful look to make sure she was alright as he continued to pet her shoulder, like the adorable little darling he was.

She smiled, feeling more embarrassed than anything right now. Well… not if she was being totally honest with herself.

According to Perry's watch, she'd been in there for about a half an hour. Not so long, when she was looking _back_ at it.

He got up, and shot another look at the trap, still trying to figure it out.

"I guess the point of the test was to sit tight until rescue came? Unbeatable scenario style? I hope I didn't blow it for everyone."

Perry made a 'pffft' noise, and shook his head. He was ticked off, but not with her.

"I doubt Monogram has any idea how claustrophobic I am."

He turned to blink at her.

"Yes, it's come up in the past, but not often. We should find the others."

He gave her a long look.

"I'm fine now, really. There's plenty of light and air, and my best friend's with me. Couldn't be better." She got to her feet to prove her point. Yes, she was still shaken up, but she was an agent. Why was that so much easier to remember now? It seemed so stupid… unless she let herself wonder what would have happened if Perry hadn't shown up…

A gentle chatter snapped her attention back to the task at hand.

"Sorry."

He gave her an understanding smile, and led the way down the corridor. There were a few obvious traps scattered here and there, but other than that, it was a dead end. _Just_ what she wanted to see right now.

Perry just gave a bored sigh, and turned around, heading back the way they'd just come. After they went past her trap, they came up to a rope trap that had been gnawed through, and a pit. It was fairly obvious what had happened… she swallowed back the wave of guilt. Suddenly, Doof didn't seem so ridiculous.

Perry didn't show any interest in turning left, and they kept going straight. She was just getting able to focus on the fact that there was a way out of this underground anything-but-fun-house, when something wrapped around her face, and she was in the dark again.

She choked on a scream and tried frantically to get whatever it was off of her head, nerves shattering all over again.

In front of her, Perry gave an angry chatter. She pulled free of the sack, to find Perry glaring at, Harry. The hyena wasn't having any trouble trying not to laugh now.

_—

He narrowed his glare a little for good measure. It was a stupid trick to pull any time, and Annie was upset enough. Harry rubbed his arm, letting his gaze fall, and he took that chance to glance at his friend. She had an odd mixture of relief and panic on her face that looked just borderline hysterical. She looked, a lot like Candace, actually.

Well, two team members down, and two to go, and they could get out of here. He gave Annie a thumbs up, and she nodded, not looking very sure of herself. He frowned at that as he led the way further down the corridor. Sure, it must have been unsettling, trapped in the dark like that, and it had been cruel of Monogram to allow it for the test, but he didn't understand why it had upset her so much. She was an O.W.C.A. agent… she got trapped pretty much on a daily basis. It was just sort of something you got used too…

A rope snapped tight behind him. He looked over his shoulder, and saw Annie and Harry caught in one net, swaying back and forth above him. He sighed, and went for the release when a voice squawked, "I've got it!"

Maggie swooped down, and clipped it with her beak.

He waved his arms, shaking his head, but it was too late, and the two agents plummeted to the floor, Harry landing on top of Annie. He shoved the hyena off, and helped her up. Maggie landed, having the grace to look sheepish.

Alright, so now they just had to find the cat, who was probably sleeping in her trap, contentedly. She probably would have loved Annie's trap.

Still, Harry and Maggie were doing pretty well so far, he had to give them that. He knew he was going easy on Annie, but he also knew that she wasn't normally like this. She'd already proved herself a top agent, and he hated the look shame on her face right now. With Doof thinking about quitting on him, the last thing he needed was for Annie to start questioning her self worth. He was going to have to do something to cheer them both up once they got out of here.

All at once, it was like an earthquake went off. From the way the structure around them moaned, it wasn't designed to do this. The boys were still in school, or he'd have wondered if one of their inventions had gotten out of hand. Of course, there was always Doof…

His watch beeped. He pressed it, and Carl's face lit up the screen. "Agent P, we've lost all control over the ancient ruin traps, and the whole thing's going haywire! You've got to get your team out of there! I'm going to reactivate your watches, and I'm activating the tracker on Karen's right now." The connection went fuzzy, then came back. "I'm losing you, Agent P. I'm afraid you guys are on your own!" It shorted out as the corridor they were in stared to collapse.

As they raced to keep ahead of the falling bricks, he pressed the button that showed Karen's tracker, and steered them down the right corridor.

In ended in a little room, where Karen was tied to the wall with nothing more than a leash. He growled a low chatter as he walked over to click the leash from her collar.

Behind him, Harry found the whole thing hilarious, and Maggie was squawking at him to, "Quiet down, loudmouth!"

It was Annie's hollow voice, however, that made him stiffen. "We're blocked in."

He spun around to see that the corridor behind him had caved in completely. Worse, the torch in his hand wasn't giving off as much light as it had when he'd picked it up.

Harry stopped laughing as he realized what was going on.

Karen sat down beside him, wagging her tail, while purring in completely inexplicable cat language.

Maggie flew around the room, looking for a crack small enough for one of them to escape through.

Annie backed up against the wall, trying to breathe normally, and to hide the way she was trembling.

And then they all looked at him, their eyes asking how they were going to get out of this one.

It was the last thing he saw before the torch went out.

_—

 **A/N: Yes, this Annie is easier to rattle than the one from the second dimension. If you've read my Season X 'series', (*cough* Public Enemy #1, through, A Long Slow Recovery) you probably already know why these last two chapters have been so rough on her. If not, don't worry I'll recap.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	12. Out of the Dark

Perry yawned as he checked his watch again. Still no contact with the O.W.C.A. and the efforts to dig themselves out weren't going all that well. It was Harry's turn, so he wandered in the darkness until he stumbled into Annie.

She'd taken her turn digging earlier, and she seemed to be holding up fairly well, except… she was being too quiet for him to believe she was fine.

Still, when he curled up on her lap, her fingers found that spot under his bill that he liked so much, and lost some of their tension as she stroked his fur. It was dark, but they had quite a bit of room, so she shouldn't be too scared…

There wasn't much he could do about it if he was wrong.

Harry half laughed, half garbled something, and he got up to see what it was.

He climbed through the tunnel they'd made so far, and saw why Harry was so excited; they'd broken through the wall, and they just needed to climb up past the level where the floor had caved in.

He chattered down through the tunnel, and Maggie and Karen joined him in a manner of seconds. When Annie didn't, he went back in.

Using his watch as a source of light, he found her inching along the wall, fighting off another panic attack. He refused to sigh audibly, and went over to her. He found her hand, and gave it a squeeze, willing her to just breath.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" a tear splattered on his bill, startling him. "I made you fight your fear, and I… I tried to do the same…"

His biggest fear was losing his family, and it always would be. What was she…

She was acting like he had that first time he'd hit the water after… the memories flooded back;Being assigned to The Villain, public enemy number one. The attempt to arrest him that had ended in the underwater river, where he'd thought he'd lost her… he could remember the panic of having that awful moment thrown back at him all too well

He could have smacked himself. While he'd been mourning her untimely death, she'd been struggling to survive, trapped underground, without even her watch for a light. It was no wonder she hated this.

—_

Perry chattered softly, and tugged on her hand. She nodded in the dark, and reached to scoop him into her arms. What she hated most about this whole situation was worrying him, but she couldn't seem to hold off these stupid panic attacks. She was going to have to work harder on getting over this handicap.

She hugged him as tightly as she dred, without squishing him. That helped a lot. She allowed herself another minute, then set him down again. "Thanks, and sorry again, Boss."

His hand immediately found hers and he tugged her over to their tunnel. There was a light at the end of it, and she wasn't so sure that was a good sign.

—_

All they had to do now was get to the surface. He could do that. Annie seemed okay so long as he stuck close to her, and Karen at least seemed to understand the importance of keeping up.

He frowned when he realized he'd just put his second in command in the same category as the feline, but he still has to face th fact she wasn't at the top of her game down here. Which left him with Maggie and Harry. Just perfect. At least he didn't seem to need to hold Annie's hand as long as there was light.

He motioned for them to be careful, and they made it to the next level without incident.

Wait, was the ground shaking again? He looked around in a panic, realizing there was no place to take cover. Thankfully, this second cave in seemed localized, almost as if it had been triggered…

A scream could be heard getting closer, and closer…

He rolled his eyes, and went to stand near where a shadow was growing. Doof landed in front of him, completing his team.

The confused man blinked at his webbed feet, then leapt up, practically glowing with joy. "You're alright! Oh, thank badness, er, I mean goodness, sorry. But I was so worried! Carl called me and told me that the test had gone wrong, and that you needed to get out of here…"

He crossed his arms.

"And now, well, I suppose now I'm just trapped down here, too. But… it _seemed_ like a good idea at the time. I mean… we're a team, right?"

He smiled, and nodded, looking up at the hole Doof had fallen through. It had sealed up behind him, so that wasn't their best option.

He fell into step with the other's behind him, and Annie's voice was fairly normal. "Thanks for coming, Doof."

The scientist sighed dramatically. "Really? I break into a crumbling temple trap to try and help, and still with the insults?"

She sounded taken aback. "I wasn't…"

"You know, what, forget it. Maybe I deserved that one. Oh, I didn't ask… is everyone okay?"

Maggie didn't miss a beat. "We were before!"

—_

He glared at the bird, but the other's amused smiles seemed good natured enough. He looked again at Perry the platypus. He looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. That wasn't right. He might be in charge, but they were a team!

Huh, that floor tile felt funny under his feet. It wort of looked like… he gasped, and spun around. "AJ, look out!" He took a step forward to steer her off course, but it just ended up putting him in the right position when the floor dropped out from underneath him. He heard an alarmed chatter as he plummeted down. He hit bottom with a jarring thud, and everything went black.

Then he realized he was still conscious, it was just really dark. He sat up, making sure nothing was broken, and rubbed his neck.

Great. He'd messed up a _gain._ Now the team was going to have to spend precious minutes digging him out. Maggie was right. They'd been better off without him.

He tried climbing up, but it was no use. The walls were too smooth, and too far apart. He was stuck. After about ten minutes, the ceiling of the trap pulled away, and Perry the platypus looked over the edge with a questioning chatter.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You know, you ought to just leave me down here."

The platypus was already repelling down towards him on a rope that looked like it was made of vines.

When he got to him, he took the end of the rope, an tied it around his waist.

He sighed. The little guy couldn't even trust him not to fall. He climbed up onto his shoulders, and gave a tug on the rope.

"No, no! I can climb out. It's alright." He tried to hand over hand it, but he didn't get very far before he hung his head in defeat. "Could you pull me up, please?"

The others hoisted them the rest of the way. When they got to the top, Perry flipped neatly to the solid ground, while he tried to scramble out. He nearly fell backwards, but Perry grabbed his wrist to steady him.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, guys."

"For what?" AJ sort of looked like she was going to cry. "You have no idea how much I owe you right now. Thanks."

Right. He'd forgotten how he'd fallen into the trap in the first place. That made him feel a bit better. Maybe he wasn't such a goof up after all.

They all watched their footing more carefully, and the next level seemed more stable.

Unfortunately, it was also where the traps started getting worse.

Perry the platypus was doing pretty well, but he kept checking over his shoulder to make sure the rest of them were okay, too often, and since he was in front, some of the better traps bested him.

He held out his hands to catch Perry as Maggie freed him from a net trap. He started to put him down, then shook his head. "On second thought, Perry the platypus,you'd better stay up here." Perry scowled at him as he propped him up on his shoulder, but he stayed put.

Things went a lot smoother after that. After all, he'd set up so many traps, he knew the mechanics behind them quite well. They had to be getting close to the exit…

He yelped as the floor dropped out from under him again. This time, instead of falling straight down, they hit some kind of stone slide. It least it was slick. On second, thought, if it _hadn't_ been slick, they could have just climbed back up it…

"Oops. Sorry."

Perry hopped down from his shoulder, but the glare he tried to shoot him didn't have much power behind it. He ended up shrugging.

Something about that shrug made him want to do handsprings. It was high praise coming from the little guy. Sure, he'd just messed up, but the rest of the team had sprung more traps than him, and he'd helped Perry the platypus avoid quiet a few before this, so that had to count for something.

Perry the platypus looked around, a calculating look on his face, and then he seemed to remember something horrible. It sent him into a panic, at any rate, and he tried to climb back up the slide.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… we tried that, remember? It's not going to happen. It's fine, though. Look. There's probably a way out this way. See, this is one of those things that confuses you, and disorients you, but doesn't really trap you."

Perry pointed up the slide, the worried look still in place.

"The rest of the team? Right… well, here!" He pulled a marker from his pocket, and left an arrow on the wall. "There if they try to follow us, we'll leave them a trail. But they were so close to the exit, they'll probably just leave. Right?"

Perry stood staring up the slide for another moment, then turned, and walked down the corridor with him.

What was the big deal? The others could handle a few more traps and finding the exit, right? Perry was too worried. He'd missed something. Unless…

But unless didn't matter. Perry the platypus was upset because he was stuck here, with him, instead of with the rest of the team.

_—

 **A/N: I was really, honestly going to get them out of there this chapter, but it got a little long as it was. After Doof showed up, there were just so many things that could go wrong, or, as it turned out, not so wrong.**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	13. Free at Last

"Doofy, Doofy, Doofy,… Doofy, Doofy, Doofy, Doofenshmritz!"

Perry rolled his eyes. If Doof sang that toneless 'themesong', _one_ more time…

He didn't need the silence filled, or the mood lightened. Annie was trapped somewhere in the giant puzzle, and he _needed_ to get to her before she had another panic attack or something.

"Oh lighten 's just a mechanism that's gone haywire, and is potentially fatal now. Like, well, a lot of my -inators. So this is practically like old times."

He nodded absently, hearing something up ahead. He tugged on Doof's pant-leg until the scientist stopped. "What is it?"

He wasn't sure, but something wasn't right. He found a few loose pieces of rock from the walls, and started grinding them together. Doof covered his ears at the unpleasant sound, but he didn't stop until he'd created the dust cloud he needed.

Sure enough, the entire hallway ahead of them was filled with laser beams.

Doof scoffed. "No problem. This is a test, right? They wouldn't use real…" Doof's voice cut off, and he jumped back with a yelp as he threw one of the rocks he was holding into the lasers, and it was sliced in half like it was made of butter.

He didn't have long before the dust settled, so he dove right in.

"Perry the platypus, are you crazy?!

There were a few tight spots, and a couple flips that had to be preformed perfectly, but it really wasn't that bad. He got the the other side, and hit the lever that turned everything off.

Doof broke into applause as he hurried through. "That was… wow… I'm sure glad I didn't get stuck down here alone, because I never would have made it through that. Wait a minute! Who's the Dumkoff that put a laser trap in a ancient ruin escape?!" With that, Doof scowled at the wall like there was a hidden camera in it.

He decided to just keep moving. Two corridors and a staircase later, the stepped out into glaring sunlight.

"Agent P!" Carl's voice was right behind them. "Great work getting your team out of there. Agent X brought the others out a little while ago."

He gave a sigh of relief, and ran to the edge to look where Carl was pointing. He squinted, and hooded his eyes with his hand, but he could only make out Maggie, Harry, and Karen."

When he turned, Carl was twiddling his thumbs nervously. "Yeah… we told her to wait, but AJ insisted on going back for you as soon as the others were out."

"She went back in there?!" Doof followed him to the door they'd just come out of. He shook his head, and pointed to the others.

"But, Perry the platypus…"

He stopped his foot, and scowled.

Doof crossed his arms. "Fine. But if you guys aren't back in ten minutes, I'm goin' back in, and you won't be here to stop me!" His voice went sing-song as he finished.

He just rolled his eyes, and headed back down the corridor alone.

He chattered, and listened for a response, then kept walking. If he knew Annie, she'd go right back to that slide, and try to track them from there. But with all the traps and turns down here…

It wasn't long before he heard footsteps up ahead. He briefly considered getting stuck in a trap so she could think she'd accomplished something by coming back for him, but he immediately dismissed that idea in favor of crossing his arms, and tapping his foot.

Her flashlight beam hit him as she rounded the corner. "Perry!"

Her relieved smile faded as he shook his head, still tapping his foot.

"Everyone's out… you knew that already." She sighed. "You had to come back here for me, didn't you?"

His foot stopped tapping as he realized she wasn't hyperventilating, even after coming back down here in the dark. His face pinched in confusion, and she smiled again.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need to work on dark, tight spaces. But this has actually been a really great first step. Thanks for that."

She didn't have to explain what she meant. He remembered how much playing in the pool with her had helped him forget about the underground river. He could only assume that holding him in the dark had started creating less negative association, too.

He smiled, and led her back to the door, where Doof was waiting. "They made it!"

Carl ran forward as they stepped out, and sealed the door shut. Agents were taking care of the other doors. The intern wiped his brow and smiled at them. "Good to have you back, guys."

Annie crossed her arms. "What happened?"

He looked down at his clipboard, scratching his head. "I'm still not sure. The first half of the test went beautifully…"

Annie stooped him there. "What about my trap?"

He checked his notes. "That was intentional."

She swallowed. "I was afraid of that."

He crossed his arms, and the intern smiled down at him while he adjusted his glasses. "We knew about Agent X's growing claustrophobia, Agent P, and we needed to be sure she's got a handle on it. We also needed to know how you handled the team with everyone working at sub-par levels. It was never supposed to collapse, though. I don't understand any of the accidents we've been having around here. This equipment is brand new! Still, you all passed with flying colors. Even you, Doofenshmirtz!"

Doof blinked. "But… I called in sick…"

Monogram came up behind them. "Yes, but you came through for the team when they needed you. I never thought I'd say this, but you just might make a decent agent yet, Doof."

He smiled, and glanced down at his watch. He still had a few hours before school was out, so he pointed to Carl's clipboard. The intern handed it to him without question, and he scribbled a quick note, and handed ti to Annie.

She smiled, and nodded.

—_

He'd invited both his friends over for dinner, at Annie's house, of course. He climbed around her kitchen, getting the meal ready while they sat at the table.

Annie leaned back, and asked, "Sure you don't want help?" over her shoulder, a _gain._

He shook his head, and motioned for her to turn around.

She shrugged, and turned obediently.

"Well, at least it's obvious what this is all about."

"Right. But you're not still thinking of quitting, are you, Doof?"

" _Me_ thinking of quitting? No! No, this is about _you_ , and the whole, scared of the dark bit!"

He shook his head with a smile as the argument went on behind him.

"What?! No, we're well past that! I explained to Perry that the whole thing actually helped me, so… this is entirely about you."

"Well I think that coming after you guys proves that you're stuck with me. Even though you don't really want me, and you think I'm stupid."

"Who said we didn't want you?"

"You should have seen Perry the platypus's face when he got stuck with me."

"He was just worried about getting everyone out of there. And c'mon, Doof. No one thinks you're stupid! Well, okay, people do. But _we_ know better!"

"No! See, right there. It's always 'Doof'. And don't say it's to make saying my name easier, because my name is _Heinz._ It's not all that difficult to say."

… "I didn't realize it bothered you. Irked you a bit, sure… but I had no idea you felt that way about it."

"Why wouldn't I feel that way? How'd _you_ like to be called stupid all the time?"

"It's a nickname. Or are you trying to insult me back when you call me 'MC'?"

… "A little. Now you've gotten me all turned around! I'm supposed to be telling you that you proved you can handle your fears when you got the team out, and then went back for us. That took guts."

"No. I'm supposed to be telling you that you've already come a long way, and that you didn't let me thank you earlier. I don't think I could have handled being trapped alone in the dark again, and I would have if you hadn't shoved me out of the way."

"Well, we're…"

"Go on. Just say it."

Doof let out a big sigh. "We're a team. And it was no big deal."

"Well for the record, it was a big deal to me. And I'll try not to call you Doof anymore."

… "You're sure it's not an insult?"

"Hasn't been for quite some time now."

"Well… I guess it's okay… you ever going to tell me what your letters stand for?"

"Maybe someday."

"Oh sure." …

He stopped the conversation by setting a plate of rigatoni and bratwurst in front of each of them, than dashed back for a third plate for himself, while Annie bowed her head.

"Wait… is this bratwurst? What are you doing with bratwurst in your fridge?"

Annie finished praying. "I have no idea where he got this, but _anything_ goes with rigatoni." She tried a bite. "Mmmm, Perry, you're done it again!"

"Yes, this is delicious! Perry the platypus, I had no idea you knew how to cook! This bratwurst tastes a lot like mine, but you _cooked_ it to perfection! And not a hotdog in sight. Huh."

It made sense that Doof recognized the taste; he'd picked up the bratwurst at Doofenshmirtz Incorporated when they'd stopped to get Doof a change of clothes from the oil slide fiasco.

They enjoyed their meal quietly for a few minutes before Doof spoke up, mouth full. "So, wait, now I'm confused… Perry the platypus, which was it? Is this for AJ, or for me?"

He shook his head with a smile, and took another forkful of food as they started arguing again. He was glad they'd had a chance to talk things out, but he'd just wanted to let his two best friends know that he appreciated them.

—_

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	14. Sart of a School Day

Annie was studying the test schematics that Carl had given her, while she sipped her morning coffee. They were pretty much gibberish, to her, but her attempts to contact her second dimension counterpart had been fruitless.

The phone rang, and she grabbed it, happy for the distraction. "Jamison."

There was a pause. "So… is that your last name?"

She sighed, cursing herself for not checking the caller ID. "Maybe. What's up?"

Doof actually let it go. "I need an assistant for todays class, and you did so well with the kids, I was wondering if I could borrow you for a while?"

"Doof, I'm not a scientist! In fact, I was planning on trying to get you to explain these test results to me. Carl keeps saying it's just a work in progress, but I don't like the fact that both potential fatal accidents happed to Perry's team."

"I'd be more than happy to take a glance at it, if you'll help me. We don't have training today, so… please? You don't have to know a thing about science! It's… you know how my people skills are, and I could frankly use the backup."

She sighed. "Fine."

"Great! I know how you feel about my driving, so meet me at the high school by eleven!"

"The high school! But Doof!" She shook her head as the phone clicked on the other end. What had she gotten herself into now?

—_

Doofenshmirtz was relieved when AJ actually showed up. "Great! You're here!"

"I thought you were working at the elementary school?"

"I'm only subbing there, now, thanks to this work order deal I got so I didn't have to go to prison. Didn't Perry the platypus tell you?"

"I don't think it came up."

"Great, so your job is to help me with the class, make sure I don't change anyone's DNA…"

"What?"

"And especially to make sure I don't embarrass my daughter. Think you can handle all that? You know what? Don't answer. Just do your best, and we'll see how it goes."

"This isn't going to be a regular thing, is it?"

He shrugged, handing her a box of beakers to carry in. "It depends on how well it works out, I guess."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that if you can get me through the day without the principal kicking me out, this will be a success. Not to change the subject abruptly or anything, but how have you been since the whole, Escape the Ancient Ruins, test?"

"Fine. Perry's been using his time off to help me work on the claustrophobia thing. It's going well."

"Good, good. What's he up to today?"

"Well, with no training, no nemesis, and no neighbor next door, I imagine he's lounging around the house. Unless Monogram interferes, which he generally does."

Some of the kids were already in their seats. Vanessa was one of them. She merely slid down further in her chair as the others groaned. "Hello class. This is, um… well, it's awkward, that's what it is."

She shot him something that looked suspiciously like an apologetic glance, and took over. "Hey there. I'm Miss Jamison, we're going to be just a few minutes setting up, and then you're going to need to put that cell phone away."

Johny rolled his eyes and groaned at her, and it didn't seem to faze her one bit. "Right, Miss Jamison. Jamison. I need to remember that. Unless, you don't want me to…"

"Let's drop that subject. Where does this stuff need to go?"

"Set that on the desk…" He turned as another student came in. "Come on in, we're just getting started, hey, are those the same pants? Please tell me you have more than one pair, because that's all I've ever seen you in!"

Another kid in the back spoke up. "I thought Mr. Platypus was the occasional assistant teacher."

He caught the amused twinkle in her eye as she finished unpacking the box. He sighed. "He is. Miss Jamison here is the _other_ occasional assistant teacher, on a trial basis. She's going to pass out today's assignment while we wait for the others to get here."

Vanessa smiled as she took the piece of paper. "So you got roped into this, too, A.J.?"

"I wouldn't put it that way, exactly."

So much for his little girl having a problem with A.J. in the school room. Apparently it was just him. None of the boys in the school room seemed to mind that she was there, either. "Miss Jamison, are you going to be coming back tomorrow?"

"Is science your favorite subject?"

"Is science your favorite color?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

She made it back to whiny lizard boy, and traded the paper for his cell-phone. "Alrighty then, we're here so that you guys can learn science, so let's focus on Doo…cter Doofenshmirtz."

He flashed a smile at her for catching the slip in time. The last thing he needed was for the kids to assign _him_ a nickname. "Alright, so continuing on with our talk of genetics. We're on page thirty eight now, class… Come right on in. I'll be lenient today, but let's try to be on time tomorrow, huh guys? Your assignments are on your desks… yes, very good. Okay, is everyone here now? Very good! Let's get started.

"Today we're going to discus family genetics, and how certain traits are passed along. Since I don't know of anyone else here who's related, except for the twins, we're going to use Vanessa and myself as an example."

"Dad!"

He risked a glance at her mortified face, and went ahead and pinned up the two pictures anyway. She had nothing to worry about. He'd picked her most adorable picture from her second birthday party. She was so cute with her little party hat and pink frilly dress… "As you can see, Vanessa got most of her mother's features, but I think you'll find a remarkable resemblance if you look at our eyes!"

"Dad!" She slumped forward on her desk.

He turned around, and noticed that the other teens were pointing, and snickering behind their hands. He glanced back at the pictures again, wondering what was wrong.

A.J. cleared her throat. "Excellent point, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Sorry to interupt, but it looks like I've forgotten part of the assignment."

What was she talking about? She'd never seen those papers until he'd handed them out. She was obviously covering for him, but as far as he could tell, he hadn't made a mistake.

She went right on, ignoring his confusion. "The second part of your assignment is to find home photos that show similarities between you and members of your families, and bring them in."

Like magic, the snickering stopped. They exchanged glances, accepting the situation, and calmly added the second part of the assignment to their list.

A.J. turned with a smug smile, until a spitball hit her in the back of the head. She closed her eyes, looking much to frustrated for it to be her first spitball. It was his turn to hold back a chortle.

— **_**

 **A/N: To be continued… Sorry this is so boring. I'm setting the groundwork for something more exciting to happen, and now that I've actually seen the Doof 101 episode, I have something to work with! (Don't worry, the next chapter's in Perry's POV)**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	15. Perry's Day Off

"We'll see you later, boy! Have a nice day!" Phineas gave him one last hug, then raced to join Ferb on the school bus. He watched them go, then started towards Annie's house. He stopped short when he saw her getting into her car. She rolled down the window, and leaned out. "Doof asked me to help him at the high school, so I've got to dash. Coffee's on though."

He chattered to her and she smiled, and drove off. He waddled back to the boy's room, and snuggled back into Phineas's bed.

He woke up to an irritated voice. It was Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, instead of Monogram. He blinked his eyes open, and looked around. She wasn't in the room, and she wasn't talking about him, so he smiled, and closed his eyes again.

"What are you talking about? What flea outbreak? We only have a pet platypus, and I can assure you that he doesn't have fleas."

Alright, so _now_ she was talking about him, but it didn't count. Still no reason to get up or…

His eyes popped open when Major Monogram said, "It's mandatory, Ma'am. We just need to do a quick sweep of the house, and make sure everything's alright."

The changes the repair men had made to the house… the crew must've come back to fix them, but why the heck did they have to do it today?

"Well, alright. But it seems strange…"

"Nothing to worry about, I assure you."

He wasn't going to get involved. If he stayed quiet and out of the way long enough…

The door to the boy's room opened, and a shadow fell over him. "Agent P."

He squinted his eyes tighter. Doof wasn't up to anything, and there was no way he was going to…

"Come on, wake up, Agent P. Wakey, wakey… that's it!"

He glared up at the major, but a yawn escaped him at that moment, taking the edge off, and Monogram's intimidated look melted into an affectionate smile. "I know, bad timing as usual, P. But we need to make this convincing, and it would help if you could keep your host family distracted, in order to ensure your cover stays intact."

He _would_ have to drag his family into the equation. He nodded, and hopped down from the bed. It felt strange to be walking away from the Major on all fours, and out of uniform, but he shrugged it off, and headed downstairs. He stopped when he began to wonder how he was supposed to distract Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher enough for her not to notice that the 'flee exterminators' were replacing the tree in the backyard.

—_

Linda Flynn-Fletcher crossed her arms, getting more and more suspicious about the goings on in her home. Of course she wanted to avoid a flea epidemic if she could, but she couldn't think of a single time when Perry had ever had fleas. Besides that, the men seemed more interested in her dishes than anything else, and that didn't make any sense.

Something warm rubbed up against her ankle, and she jumped with the little squeal. As soon as she looked down, she chuckled, and put her hand to her chest. "Oh, there you are Perry. You're certainly causing a lot of trouble today, aren't you?

He gave his mindless chatter, and rubbed up against her leg again. "I bet you miss not having the boys around, huh? Oh, come here, you." She picked him up, and carried him to the couch, giving him the once over. "I don't see any fleas on you."

The man with the mustache stuck his head into the room. "Platypus fleas are quite small, Ma'am, here, take this magnifying glass."

She could've sworn he winked at Perry as he handed it to her, but that was just ridiculous. She looked through the magnifying glass, still not seeing any shiny black insects in the the short, turquoise fur.

Perry let out a chatter that sounded like a purr, and she chuckled at the funny little animal. "Did you get your breakfast yet today? I'll bet that's what's wrong. C'mon. Let's get you something to eat."

She carried him to the kitchen, figuring he'd be happy not to have to walk. After all, he was a platypus, and he didn't do much. She set him down on the floor, and he stood there, waiting for her, eyes pointed in different directions. Not a thing going on inside that head!

—_

Perry hoped that they'd be done soon. He was just shocked that he'd managed to hold Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher's attention this long. It was probably because she was nervous about the people going through the house.

He knew she didn't consider him protection, but he decided right then and there to stick close until they'd gone, whether she needed to be distracted or not.

She got him a bowl of food, and then got herself a cup of coffee. She sipped it while he ate for the second time that morning, all the while wishing he could tell her somehow that it was alright.

—_

Fifteen minutes later, Mrs. Flynn-FLetcher's nerves had gotten the better of her. She sat on the couch, holding him so tightly, she was starting to cut off his air supply. She wasn't even petting him, though he was wishing she would just on the off chance it would calm her down before he blacked out.

She jumped a little as Monogram came in. "Sorry for the disruption Ma'am. Look's like you're all set. You have a nice day now."

"Thank you."

As they left, her hold on him finally loosened. He gasped in relief as she stood up, and walked around the now empty house, fingers more drumming his fur than petting it. After a while, she let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, it looks like it was silly of me to worry, Perry. If they took anything, they replaced it with exact replicas!"

He tensed, until she laughed like it was a hysterical notion, then set him down. He made sure she was alright, then went back into the living room, and climbed back on the couch, pet duties fulfilled, possibly above and beyond the call.

Just as his eyes were closing, his watch beeped. He blinked one eye open, and saw that the signal was coming from Doof's wrist communicator. He hit the button to accept the call.

Doof smiled. "How's it going, Perry the platypus?"

He sighed, not liking the tone of his voice.

Doof scratched the back of his neck. "So, yeah… A.J. was helping me out today, and things may have gotten a little, out of hand, again. Do you think you could, I don't know, come down here and help me find her?"

 _She's missing?!_ He hopped down from the couch and checked on Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher. She was humming her Lindana and washing the dishes happily, so he darted to the nearest trap door.

—_

 **A/N: Sorry for the slow update. Things are busy, and I've gotten sidetracked again. I'm still working on this, but new chapters might be slower from here on out.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	16. Missing

After deciding on an alternate project for a teen who'd been adopted, Doofenshmirtz began steering the conversation back towards the lesson. His temporary trial based assistant whispered a quick apology for interrupting the lesson, and he quickly reassured her, "No, no! Vanessa's smiling again, so it's fine! Keep doing what you're doing. It's working!"

He was as relieved as she looked. This whole thing had been a long shot. After all, she tended to annoy the heck out of him, and to be fair, vise versa, or verse visa, or however that went. But his options had been limited, so he was grateful for the help.

She actually sat down in the corner, and sipped her coffee, letting him speak. "So, since we'll be dealing more with family genetics tomorrow, why don't we move on with the effects that tiny little molecular changes can have on us. And we won't be using any more students as examples, so don't worry about that."

He turned to the boxes he and A.J. had carried in, and started pulling out several bottles of chemicals. "Yep, you kids sure are in for a treat! In most schools, they don't get far enough to talk about this type of stuff. They treat it like it's entirely theoretical! But I've always felt hands on learning is the best, so let's just dive right in."

A student piped up like he'd been raising his hand for quite some time. "Um, sir? What's the formula you want us to work out?"

"Formula, what is this, Algebra? I just said this was going to be hands on!"

" _Dad_ , that's not how it works! We're only supposed to use real chemicals in lab!"

He looked around. "We're _in_ the lab! Now stop interupting me! As for formulas, I've found science is roughly eighty percent trial and error. So let's just take a little of this, and a little of that, and mix it with this… A.J., would you mind grabbing that can of fishing worms I brought in? Listen up, everyone, this wont hurt them I promise! Well, I'm twenty percent sure it won't… but anyway…" He shrugged, and poured the mixture from his test tube into the beaker on the desk, mixed it up, then let it set.

Pointy Hair asked, "What _is_ it?"

He leaned back against the desk and shrugged. "Like I said, trial and error. Thanks A.J. So, let's take a look at the chemicals I used, and theorize, shall we? That 'school like' enough for you party poopers?" He reached down for the beaker, and held it up. "Now in this empty beaker, I have… wait, what?"

He stared at the clear, very empty container. "Huh. Maybe it's an invisibility formula. Cool, huh?" He stuck his finger in the beaker, and waggled it around. "Nope. That's weird. It's almost like I didn't put anything… in… here…"

He trailed off when he saw the white coffee mug his assistant was drinking out of.

A.J. sputtered, and looked at him in horror, setting the cup down like it contained poison, which, you know, hopefully it didn't.

He tapped his fingers together nervously. "So… how do you feel?"

She didn't sound any happier than she looked. "What was in that?"

"Well…" he turned around to check the bottles, and in that second,the whole classroom gasped.

He spun back around to find one less person in the room. "A.J.? What happened? Where'd she go?"

Vanessa groaned, burying her face on her desk. "She vanished. Dad, you did it again!"

He could handle this. He just… all he had to do was… he bit his lip, and then did the only thing he could think of. He raced out into the hallway to call in Perry the platypus.

_—

When Perry showed up Doof looked about ready to pull his hair out, Vanessa was moaning about how uncool it was to zap someone out of existence, and the rest of the room was in a panic.

He was worried about her, too, but this was no time for everyone to lose their cool. He hopped up into the desk, and whistled shrilly.

Everyone froze, and looked at him. Doof broke into a relieved smile. "Alright everyone! Mr. Platypus is here to help figure out what happened to Aj… Miss Jamison."

He tapped his foot.

Vanessa slumped back onto her desk. "You'd better figure it out quick, Mr. Platypus. Dad's as clueless as usual."

The man's daughter was too caught up in her own social standing to see the wince of pain her words had caused. Doof quickly shook it off, and spoke quietly. "I was mixing some random chemicals together, and I accidentally put them in her coffee. It was a mistake, I swear it! Before I realized what was happening, she took a big swig of her coffee, and then, she just vanished!"

He held up one of the bottles with a questioning chatter.

Doof went back to looking panicked. "That's the problem! I was just going to pour it on a worm. I didn't even pay attention to _what_ I used… I have no way of knowing!"

He set down the bottle, and pressed a hand to the bottom of his bill. His eyes locked onto the coffee mug. He picked it up, and noted that she hadn't finished it. He held it out to Doof.

The scientist broke into a smile. "Oh, Dumkoff! That's brilliant!" He turned back to the teens who were waiting on the edge of their seats. "Alright class, to find out what happened to Miss Jamison, we're going to need to analyze this stuff, fast.

While they got to working on that, Perry jumped down from the desk, and turned his focus to his watch. It was important that they figured out the formula, and, of course, an antidote. But right now, he very interested in figuring out why the tracker on his watch was reading what it did.

_—

 **A/N: Sorry for the wait! I hope to wrap this mystery up in the next chapter.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	17. New Perspective

Perry tuned out the rest of the room as he tried tracking his partner again. When the same results came up, he tapped the screen of the watch. He glanced around the room, frowning, then ran a quick search for Doof.

So it _was_ working. He tried to call her, but got nothing but a burst of static. _Something_ was wrong…

He sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his bill.

According to the readings on his watch, she was still _in_ the classroom. But since there was no sign of her, it could just be picking up on her last known signal, or… maybe the tracking signal wasn't wrong at all…

_—

* * *

She hadn't wanted to believe the look on Doof's face when she'd realized what had just happened. The coffee had tasted funny, but it was only lukewarm, and she hadn't been paying attention. Not a mistake she'd repeat, if she even got a second chance. She finished her climb, and looked down. It was quite a drop. This wasn't what she'd signed up for, but at least it was heights, and not some dark, closed in place. She could handle this.

She turned to look at her surroundings, and choked on a scream as a monstrous creature came at her. The creature smiled, and held it's hand out, mouth working a mile a minute as it pointed over it's shoulder at two similar creatures. It took her a second to recognize them as bugs at this height.

They seemed to be waiting for her to do something. The taller two looked friendly enough.

_—

* * *

He didn't know where this fascinating new creature had come from, but this was his chance! If he could only pull this off, he'd fulfill his dreams, and make contact with the humans! The trouble was, she wasn't responding.

"Hey, Napoleon! She's not saying anything."

"Yes, I understand that. Let me try again. Excuse me, Miss, but I couldn't help but notice that you look somewhat like a human, despite your unusually small stature."

She shrugged. "I'm sorry. I really don't understand what you're saying. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I've got to find a way to make my friends see me."

She pointed up to the least coordinated giant and the shortest giant in the room. A teal one, that was wearing a O.W.C.A. fedora! What luck! Not only could she help them make contact, but her friend might be able to get them into the O.W.C.A. as well!

He panicked as she started to turn away, and raced in front of her, waving his hands. "No,no, please! Allow us to help you! We'll find a way to get you noticed." Hopefully without killing her, but at this rate, he couldn't exactly make promises.

She hesitated while he bowed, sweeping one arm out. "We are at your service, Madame!"

* * *

_—

It was a little disturbing, to be perfectly honest. Even working side by side with animal agents hadn't been enough to make her wonder if _bugs_ were equally capable of rational thought. But these guys seemed helpful, at least, the two that were looking her in the eye did. Or they were trying to eat her. Either way, she had to get Perry's attention, bugs or no bugs.

She tried whistling, then jumping up and down and yelling as loud as she could, but her voice was too tiny to be heard over the frightened teenagers, not to mention Doof.

"ALRIGHT! ENOUGH! Don't shove! Give me that. STOP! Hey, watch what you're doing! Don't put that in your MOUTH! What are you, seven?"

Vanessa still sat at her desk, groaning like her life was over.

"Um, a little help here, Sweety Pie?"

The teen rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Dad."

She crossed her arms. That wasn't like Vanessa. Alright, so it was a little like Vanessa, but if they'd been home, away from her 'friends', she would have done _something_ to help her father. Right now she seemed intent on… punishing him. Her frown deepened as she glanced back over at was trying his best. Yeah, he'd shrunk her to the size of an insect… at the thought, she turned, but the three bugs had vanished.

A little relieved, but still curious, she scouted the room until she spotted them trying to climb onto the desk. Not the safest place for them, which was why she'd opted for the window sill. She took a step forward, but froze as a giant shadow fell over her.

She turned with a gasp, then dove out of the way as Vanessa leaned on the window sill.

She avoided the girl's arm, but the impact on the sill was enough to send her teetering over the edge. She gripped it firmly, but it was starting to splinter, and the sliver of wood she was clinging to was starting to pull away.

She didn't bother yelling, even from only a few feet away, because Vanessa had her earbuds in.

The sliver was about to pull free, so she leaned back, then kicked away from the wall as hard as she could, lunging for the drape cord. She caught it, but before she could shinny back up it, Vanessa went over to the desk. "Enough already! This is chaos!"

She slid down the cord with a sigh, and decided to make her way to the light switch. If she was quick enough, she could dart across the room before… even as she thought it, another shadow fell over her. She just barely managed to avoid being stomped. It was too late to turn back now, but she wished she'd tried this before Vanessa started herding the kids back to their desks.

Without warning, she was kicked to the side. The heavy impact knocked the wind out of her, and she barely had the sense to _notice_ sneaker above her, much less try to _move_.

She winced, and then an ear spitting whistle tore through the classroom as something flattened her…

Something softer, warmer, and much more gentle than a sneaker. She blinked her eyes open as the teal paw lifted her gently out harms way.

_—

* * *

Annie propped herself up to look at him, then collapsed against his paw in relief. He shot a look up the student he'd stopped. The teen had turned white. He stepped out of the way, and nodded calmly, then walked over to Doof with his tiny friend.

He was still busy with the formula, so he lifted Annie up for a better look and gave her a light poke. She sat up, her smile a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thanks."

He didn't bother to respond, staring at her intently.

"I'm fine. A 'little' shaken up, is all."

He rolled his eyes even as the smirk formed, then pulled on Doof's pants.

"Would you JUST… oh, Perry the platypus, what… OH! Okay. A shrinking formula I can work with. No problem!" He stooped down, and would have knocked Annie flat with that nose if he hadn't moved her out of the way. "Don't you worry, AJ, I'll have you back to normal in no time!"

The teens were all out of their seats again, crowding around him to get a glance at their tiny teaching assistant. He frowned, cupping a protective paw over his friend as they crowded in too close.

—

* * *

"Got it!" He grinned as he completed the mixture and sucked it into a medicine dropper. He pushed his way though his students. "Come on, give her some space… with any luck, she'll take up more of it in a few seconds."

Perry the platypus shot him a doubtful look, then set Annie on the desk, and started moving the kids away.

He held the dropper over her.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Reasonably."

She gave a tiny sigh, and shrugged. "Alright then."

He squeezed the dropper, probably a little too much, but she had the good sense not to swallow all of it.

Nothing happened for a split second, then test tubes and beakers crashed to the floor, shattering as she shot to her normal height.

Perry and AJ let out sighs of relief at the exact same second he did.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry about that."

She hopped down from the desk, and grabbed a broom with a shrug. "No, no, it's my fault. I should have known better than to bring food or beverages into a room where chemicals were being used. You see kids, accidents happed."

Vanessa gave a snort from her desk.

He sighed. From the look she was giving him, she was thinking that they happed a lot more to _him_ than most people.

AJ crossed her arms, giving his daughter a pointed look. "And when they do, it's important to keep a level head, and to be there for each other, no matter what."

Vanessa looked down, an almost guilty expression sweeping over her face, but she shot him a look to let him know it wasn't over just yet.

Perry the platypus held the dustpan as their plucky lab assistant calmly swept up the glass.

"Alright kids, let's give Miss Jamison a hand for being such a good sport."

Even Vanessa smile a little as the room erupted into applause.

_—

* * *

Napoleon and his friends barely managed to scoot under the desk as the glass had started to rain. They'd tried to climb it three time, unsuccessfully, and now they could emerge for fear of being swept up.

"Oh well. We accomplished half of our mission. Our little friend is human again, and we're a little further along in our quest to contact the humans, and become agents."

"How exactly are we further along?"

As he explained, he led the way behind the back of the desk. "Well we've talked to a human, haven't we? She noticed us, for a while at least, and…"

"EWWWW! BUGS!" The screaming teen raised her foot as a broom clattered to the floor.

"Wait!"

The no longer tiny human pulled her back, and grabbed an non-smashed beaker from the desk. She scooped them into it, and carried them to the window. She opened it, and tipped the glass to pour them out onto a leaf. "There you go, little guys."

He smiled, and waved at her. "You see?"

* * *

 **A/N: I had SO much trouble with this chapter, and it is such a relief to post it! Thanks for being so patient!**


End file.
